Identity? -Re: The ideal self.
Who is "me"? đ
Dealing with this process itâs completely normal. Itâs not condemnable at all making a call for help when anxieties surpasses the calms (mostly of the times highly), since we are social beings and we need interactions with the others and, in many cases, and external approval that backups or refute our ideas, bringing us a new perspective. Weâll be always aware of other peopleâs opinions.
Based on these last paragraphs, in this Review weâll going to talk about the topic of the week; one that, in my opinion, is the beginning of any topic that we can talk about soon: Defining the TRUE SELF. So, no more mysteries! Letâs begin.
ÂżHow do you define yourself? đ
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This question can be taken in two ways: It can emerge as a mix of several ideas, in which the adjectives and comparisons assemble an argument apparently solid, or it can result in a bunch of extra questions. You are all free to test by yourself with any person; however, no matter the answer, there is a factor that prevails in all those possible definitions: what the person feels he/her is, does not match with what we see he/her is. This discrepancy goes even beyond of a simple appearance: there is something that we can perceive in that person, gestures and actions that do not frame what the person says. Why this does happens? Why it is so hard to define ourselves? The answer to that its really simple.
Each thing in its holy place. đ§
First, we gotta understand that the âtrue selfâ is divided in two parts; the importance of one over the other depends of the individual, though one is more immovable than the other.
The INNER self:
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The âinner childâ that we can see whenever we call for it, who handle the controls of an apparently âout of controlâ subconsciousness. Itâs the untouchable part, the soul or our essence of life. The inner self is the most sensitive part of the beings, and it strength determine it all. A solid inner identity assure us an emotional stability, while a weak one can submit us to a series of changes and mistaken choices of which we can regret in the future.
The OUT self:
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Do not get confused: â
Now that we have both parts of the being properly separated, starting to understand the impact of one over the other itâs not difficult: stability doesnât come from the outside, since thia tend to chance due to different factors that time and space brings. It comes from the soul>/b>, from the essence of life. If itâs knew that the life experiences can condition the understanding of some things, adapting the inner self to the conditions of the out self itâs a common mistake that can affect that stability submitting it to regular changes. The soul, or life breath, need to never get altered by the physical conditions, since they can change suddenly and mostly of the times itâs not possible to control them. In other hand, the life essence remain the same trough the âeverythingâ.No matter what happen in our lives, our essence doesnât have to get altered. The reactions, decisions, stands and circumstances that we can carry out through our life determine our physicall state, but not our spiritual state, and thatâs why the old-fashioned excuse of âlife made me this wayâ gets completely dismissed. It is time to be more responsible of our personal wealth, working in our perception of everything to adapt it to a permanent vision able to transcend beyond physicall state.
Acceptance or conformism? đ
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Two visions, two encountered concepts, one confusion. Is it the same getting stagnant than accepting ourselves? I am the way I am, and thatâs all. I donât want to keep going. Can we condemn someone for reaching some point on his life, and then deciding to stay there the time he wants? NO.
Weâre used to openly criticize, harm and condemn people when their rhythms of life doesnât match with ours, and this is nothing but an insane heritage of âpersonal overcomingâ. But, why locked in quotation marks? Because the concept of overcoming itâs different for each one. The goals, objetives, and even the way we perceive them, are inherent of the person itself. No one can see what your eyes see the way they do it, and no one is able to feel things like you feel them. the sooner we understand this, the quicker we can give the next step.
Being satisfied with the level one has its not condemnable at all. Reaching a certain point in which, even when everybody else insist in achieving some excellence dogmas and feeling glad to be at that point itâs not bad. Au contraire, forcing the evolution of everyone at the same time to reach the same exact physicalgoal, leave us exhausted and anxious. If itâs a common knew that having a certain sense of competition and not giving up being in front of a goal, getting obsessed with reaching it only distract us from the learning we may have in the way to reach that goal. Learning which are your own times, and learning specially to respect them, is the key to get a healthy personal growing process.
So, How do I define myself? â
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Throughout our lives, we go through and uncountable quantity of emotional and physical processes that define what weâll eventually be. That final resolution of our goals may be given by intrinsic factors (that we can control) and factors that are inherent of the each oneâs life processes. So, factors like lifestyle, social status, general situation, family condition, friends or relatives, body changes, etc. may define us somehow, but they doesnât have to be the main definition of our existences, since they are only a part of the outside and, as we said before, the external things can change quickly. We have been imposed that we have to remain the same, but itâs already shown that we need to go through all this processes of changing to being able to develop our identity : The transition of a child to become an adult, a working person that change the work level, a clothing style change, an environment change, the birth or death of somebody close to us, to mention only a few examples of changing processes that unavoidably are going to condition our personality somehow, making us understand the different perspectives of who are around us to find in them the pieces that will compose our âfinal versionâ.
But, is there a final version of us? If the factors that make us what we are my stay stable for a long period of time, our being may change and get adapted to the conditions of the moment, and even more importantly, the learning that we have throughout our lives define what we are. if we never stop learning, getting adapted and evolving⌠Can we really day that weâll reach a point when weâll have a âperfectâ version of us? The question answers itself.
We are changing beings, and if we know that we have some factors that weâll never be able to change no matter how much we want it, there is something that we can adapt to our conditions to archieve our goals: Our own perception. The ways we process things define our beings, and empower us emotionally to eventually condition our phisycall plane.
There is not a Perfect life canon, but we can say that the only sure thing is that the ideal of âbeingâ itâs one where the inner identity condition the external identity as much as possible, cause this is the most immutable and the one we can actually handle completely.
So now youâre free to put the conditions you want for your own life, always remembering that you are your best friend and ally. Recognize your inner identity, since this one is the one, at the end, were with you all the time, even when you werenât able to understand it.
My third album "Fear no More" is an entire project dealing with identity... even duality... I have a song called "Lurking from within" in which I agree I have shifted of who I was... someone is inside, and must be released for the sake of both, to feel fulfilled. I don't think those out and in are a split thing, they're a continuous thing. We are made of many colours!
Exactly. I think that we tend to forget our numerous hues, choosing only one and then feeling something is "missing". All emotions are worthy, even the hardest ones, just like all colours have a meaning for the eye.
Thanks @unicornia, for sharing your post on Pimp Your Post Thursday Discord.
Thank you for allowing me to do it <3 you're all fun and lovely!
bookmarked to read more later when I can really spend the time this posts needs.
I really enjoy topic's like this!!
Me too <3 I found out that steemit have a big database of emotional knoledge, but like everything else it's a bit hard to find (I mean, the truly helpful ones.)
I actually keep discovering myself. Funnily such a thing is a symptom of borderline personality disorder! Not that i discover myself but that i repeatedly get lost and forget who I am. And yet im always very much me. Its weird.
The main lesson is always accepting yourself the way you are. There are corners, rooms and Spaces that will be hard to understand, but that's pretty much what make us not get bored with ourselves ;)