Oh my gosh, I can totally relate to that moment of yours on the field! I don't have one stand out moment, but lots of small moments like that where I let my nerves get the best of me. I will share a memory from the P2P vault since you were so candid. Mine actually does involve my father pushing me in a good way.

Basketball was "my sport", so I also felt a lot of pressure to perform well. It probably didn't help that my older sister also played and was a pretty darn good athlete, so I always measured myself against her performance. My junior or senior year I had a few games where I was just totally off. I think I totally got in my own head and couldn't do anything right. Before the next game my dad brought me to the gym and made me drill until I was blue in the face. Just the same basic shooting drills over and over. I was so ticked off at him thinking he was just being mean, but in the end after I worked through all the emotions I realized my body had the skills and it was my brain holding me back. That next game I did just fine!

He was really frustrated with me because I didn't want to even try out for the basketball team in college. I was on a 90% academic scholarship (wouldn't have been able to attend the school I did without it), though, so I didn't want to jeopardize that by trying to juggle school and sports. That first year or two of college we had a very cool relationship, but then I think he finally realized I made the best choice for myself at the time. It was tough then as I hated the thought of disappointing him.

I do miss team sports, but at least running for me tends to be less external pressure and more just my own desire to do well. Makes it easier to use the mental tricks I've learned over the years and actually enjoy it as a meditative activity at times. I still get crazy nervous even before races that I am only doing for fun, but the more I make meditation a priority the more I can at least calm myself down once I start getting anxious. I don't think it will ever totally go away (which is probably a good thing as it means I'm invested in what I am doing), but at least I'll never have a total freak out before a race.

Thanks for sharing some of your experiences! I'm sure we could go back and forth on this topic for quite some time!