Wonderfully relatable, Deep End. Ooops, sorry, Depend. I mean, @d-pend. Stupid autocorrect.
The third stanza in particular strikes me as painfully obvious. I find myself too often wondering why so many folks I know in my life continuously make choices that inevitably lead to suffering, while simultaneously refusing to simply acknowledge the world, or the experience, or the situation, or whatever it is honestly. It is as if truth is too much, too painful for them. Yet the pain that arises from never choosing to face Truth ultimately creates more suffering than coming to terms with it ever could. For once one comes to terms with Truth, it becomes undeniable, and new choices--better ones--can be made, which could (and usually do) result in happier times for them and all around them.
Do you ever find yourself trying to connect with someone who's entire world is propelled forward by fear? Have you found positive ways of communicating with them that allow them to start to see the results of their own actions without them flying off the deep end (get it?) and taking it personally? Would love to have some advice on that matter.
Pain is immensely enjoyable, which is why we indulge in it in a multitude of subtle ways. Including, for example, the need to feel we are right and others are wrong, which is a painful pleasure based in the illusion of separateness.
To answer your query, the most successful approach I have found is to provide a space in which the person feels safe to express themselves honestly. If they feel any sort of judgement, they will become defensive and trapped in their own turmoil. If one comes forward with an open, genuine, unconditionally loving heart, there will be little negativity for the other person to grasp onto. In this way one can facilitate the person in question's realization that they are the source of their own suffering.
Thank you very much for the in depth reply and questions. Also, kudos for realizing the triple entendre of my screen name :D I hope you have a wonderful day!