I JUST GOT ENGAGED SO WHAT NOW?

Planning a wedding is not easy!!! But why in most cases we have to prepare for the wedding and not in marriage?? Which is more important the WEDDING or the MARRIAGE?

The bride, her mother, and maybe the groom spend hundreds of hours picking out wedding consultants, choosing the location, selecting the stationary, ordering the flowers, the music, the caterer, the menu, the wine, the cakes, gift bags, and great, great care is given to “how to make this wedding unforgettable.” The problem of course is this time is not spent in spiritual pre-marriage counseling, in praying to God to bless the marriage, in quiet times learning how your partner feels about money, kids, in-laws, sex, God, spirituality. There is precious little discussion about morals and values.

So how to avoid being one of those couples whose best day in their marriage was their wedding?

1. Invite God/Spirituality into the relationship early. Some couples find this way too intimate. Sex is ok, prayer isn’t. Don’t fall into this trap.

2. Pledge that every hour you work on the wedding, you’ll spend two hours working on your relationship. This involves getting to know each other and talking about your future.

3. Start going to church now. Find one with other young couples.

4. Take a pre-marriage counseling course at your church.

5. Talk realistically about money. Are you on the same page financially? Does one person believe in charge cards while the other abhors them?

6. Make sure you agree on children. Not just having them, but also about how to raise them.

7. Talk honestly about what you love about each other, and what drives you up a wall.

8. Learn to stop criticizing your partner.

9. Talk about how you will handle the difficult days that are bound to occur. Establish rules for arguments.

10. Finally, realize your wedding is the first day of a precious journey, one that should be treated as sacred. Or else you’ll remember it as the first day of a long mistake.

I’m not in the business of criticizing anyone for an expensive, grand, out of this world wedding. I just want to remind couples there’s more to your marriage than your wedding. There’s the rest of your life.