HOW TO PROMOTE UNITY IN MARRIAGE

How are you doing guys? It’s been two days already since my last post where I brought to you some scriptural blessings associated with marital unity. You can read the full article here.
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I also promised to show us biblical ways to full-proof our marriages from the arrow of disunity. This has become necessary because it’s one thing to know something exists, it’s another thing entirely to know how to get it. From my last post you may already understand it’s possible to live in marital unity but knowing the possibility is entirely different from living in the reality.

Ecclesiastes 10:15 says “the labour of the foolish wearied them all because he knows not how to go to the city”.

So, let’s quickly get going. How do I promote unity in marriage?

1. Rely on God’s Word: Psalm 119:98, Proverbs 24:3. There’s answer to all of life’s questions in God’s word. It does not matter how unreasonable your spouse may be, there is answer in God’s word. More so, many things we disagree about as husbands and wives can be cheaply sorted out if we make God’s word our reference for all things. Most of the time, married couples are coming from different backgrounds but standing absolutely on God’s word brings them to a common ground where they can thrive in unity. However, we must remember that it’s not the word we hear or read that profits us but the one we practice. James 1:25

2. Be Fervent In Prayer: The enemy is always against God’s plan, God’s purpose and God’s people. Marriage is God’s plan. So God wades off every arrow of discord targeted at our marriages when we kneel down to pray (James 5:16). It is on the altar of prayer that we silence the enemy. The enemy is so stubborn that he won’t submit until he sees power (Psalm 66:3) and it is on the altar of prayer that power is generated (Psalm 66:1).

 Also, as individuals, our plans may be selfish but when we pray, God’s perfect plan is revealed which helps us stay united. Remember, a family that prays together stays together. You can’t truly pray for your marriage and still be against it.

1. Understand your Spouse: (Amos 3:3, Philippians 2:2). The place of understanding as we seek to promote unity in marriage cannot be overemphasized. Every individual is peculiar and so is every marriage. We must try to understand these peculiarities in promoting oneness in marriage. It will therefore be out of place for one to want to run his home exactly the same way his colleague is running his or even compare his home with his friend’s while making marital decisions. What is workable in one marriage may not be workable in another. Knowing the background, association, orientation, vision, etc of your spouse will enable you understand them better. Understanding gender differences is also important as it will help spouses see into the world of each other thereby understanding why they act the way they do.

2. Maintain Regular Communication: 2Corinthians 3:16. Communication is very important in the pursuit of unity in marriage. It will be difficult to walk in unity with someone you don’t know his mind. Every spouse must be ready and free to express themselves. The more we communicate, the more we understand each other and the more we thrive in unity. Couples, especially husbands must be ready to listen and willing to talk. It may not be easy at the beginning but as you keep at it, it will soon become part of you.

3. Avoid third parties: (Mark 10:9) Allowing third parties in a marriage may cause disagreement in that marriage. If a couple is fond of taking their disagreements to outsiders, disunity is bound to prevail in their home. The third parties they report to may not judge their matter objectively because they want to sympathize with them and by so doing, won’t tell them the truth. You and your spouse should resolve your differences without any intrusion from third parties based on the word of God and I encourage the husband to take the lead in this regard.

4. Employ Proximity: The closer you are to each other physically, sexually, financially, mentally etc, the more united you’ll become. Eat, sleep, talk, bathe, walk, pray and dress together. Closeness, if well handled, facilitates unity among husband and wife.

5. Love and Submission: Two things that promote unity in marriage are love and submission. Scripturally, love and submission are major secrets to a successful marital life (1Cor 5:). You can’t truly love your wife as a husband and submit to your husband as a wife and not be united in marriage. When submission is genuine, love follows. When true love displays, submission will follow.
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   In summary, I encourage the husbands to always take the lead in ensuring your home is living in unity. This is simply because God made you the head of our families. Heads and not bosses, hope you all know that. We must take responsibility in this regard to see that the home in our charge does not break-up.

 Thank you all for taking time to read to the end.