Godly relationship - Solving Problems in Marriage

bob-elr (56)in #marriage • 6 years ago

The home is a garden. Weeds keep cropping up in a garden that must be constantly removed, so that our planted seeds can grow well. Every normal marriage has problems and challenges. It is only when there is a fire that you see which of the sticks around you is actually a snake.

And when Paul had gathered a bundle of sticks, and laid them on the fire, there came a viper out of the heat.. Acts 28:3

In other words, in times of trouble, the character of a spouse shows clearly.

But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but i spare you. 1 Corinthians 7:28

Remember the prayer of St. Francis Xavier:

"God grant me the courage to change the things I can change: the serenity to accept the things i cannot change and the wisdom to know the difference."

Major Problems Areas in Marriage

Communication.
Sex.
Money.
Temperament.
Children.
In-laws.
Job.
Housework.
Infidelity.

Approach

Brethren, If a man be overtaken in a fault, yet which are spiritual, restore such as one in the spirit of meekness: considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. Galatians 6:1

It is in the interested of married couples to do all they can to prevent problems from showing up in their marriages.

"Preventive measures are always better than curative solutions to problems"

however, the reality of the marital relationship is that no matter what you do, issues crop up that lead to problems. If problems arise, your approach to solving them must be this:

Pray about the situation.
Be positive that there is a solution.
Bring up the issue (in the spirit of meekness - do not be confrontational)
Identify the causes (sincerely). Get to the root, not the tip of the problem.
If necessary, consult your pastors.

Methods of Solving Problems

Be ready to compromise.

There is no winner or loser in marriage, you're one flesh. Where there is a clear disagreement, the husband's decision must stand and the wife must support it even if it turns out to be wrong. However, the man must not be domineering. He must be a dictator in the house.

Things to avoid when solving problems:

(a) Do not shout.

(b) Do not share your problems with your relatives or friends.

(c) Do not break down in tears.

(d) Do not use sex as a weapon (do not refuse him/her).

(e) Do not refuse to eat prepared food.

(f) Do not use the word DIVORCE in quarrels.

(g) Avoid the counsel of the ungodly.

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Have a forgiving attitude and spirit.

Forgiveness is very essential in the survival of the marriage. Do not be nice to outsiders, but impatient and inconsiderate to your spouse,

Be prepared to talk frankly about the issue.

The offended person must be willing to open up and share in love rather than nag, shout or burry things.

For i am full of matter, the spirit within me constraineth me. Behold, my belly is as wine which hath no vent; it is ready to burst like new bottles. I will speak that i may be refreshed: I will open my lips and answer. Job 32:18-20.

"The other party must be willing to accept fault and apologise.

"I AM SORRY". These three words can resolve almost all quarrels. Be humble and to find it difficult to apologise.

And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye hath ought against any: that your father also which is in heaven may forgive your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your father which is heaven, forgive your trespasses. Mark 11:25-26