This week's fake outrage Comedy open mic

So by now I'm sure you've all heard about the stupid Gillette razor issue and now the MAGA hat kid. All in all I think everybody really needs to just shut the fuck up. Or maybe we should just grow thicker skin and then not worry about what little micro aggressions everybody thinks they're experiencing in life. To help illustrate my point here I'm going to use a couple memes because that's the way that to it's easiest to digest for everybody if they're on the slower side like myself. So for my 1st illustration here I'm going to bring up the thing that happened 2 weeks ago. The infamous Gillette razor incident. This was a commercial that some feminists at Gillette razor company made to bring awareness to"Toxic masculinity ". Now one meme really stuck out and it stuck in my head at the time when everything was being made fun of and I was going back-and-forth getting a laugh out of the whole deal.

Well then OK you got yourself a deal. I'm just gonna go ahead and go around smiling and then it will make everybody like me right? Of course it will. That's where you're wrong bucko.

In a strange twist of fate we have started using George Orwell's 1984 as a guide book rather than a huge warning. So now as a white guy I can't even smile because I commit a face crime by projecting my privilege on people but if I don't smile then I am projecting my angry toxic masculinity towards them.

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Now at this point, I really still did not give one shit. I don't care either way, I'm gonna be me and that's the way it is if you don't like it go kick rocks. I did not have a dog in this fight but then I found this.

It appears that a Saturday night live writer has put out a bounty on whoever punches the Make America Great Again kid in the face. You would think she some nasty looking old hag but apparently not she's a rather good looking little redhead. So if for some reason I don't finish the beast challenge it's probably because I might be in a jail in Kentucky.

Here is what I propose.

Since they won't let us dual as adults anymore I say to weed out the week ones we just go ahead and have baby fights. This will bring America back to a warrior class. The rules are pretty simple. Basically like thunder dome only with babies. 2 babies enter, one baby leaves. The Democrats should love this because they don't mind killing babies anyway. And the republicans don't give a shit because they're your problem after you have them. They only care from conception to when the baby falls out of your vagina so it works out great.

I nominate the dynamic duo @trumpman and @belemo to participate in comedy open mic next week.