swollen eyes

i woke up with red eyes.
barley able to open them.

my mind was spinning all night.
i woke up angry, knowing something was going to happen.

i tried to help someone and ended up crashing into them.
i cried about it, i was scared.
i was scared it could have been worse.
that someone was watching over me.

i woke up with swollen eyes because i didn't stop crying after the accident.
i cried that i was getting older,
i felt uglier the older i got
i felt that i was getting bigger in my own skin; i never wanted to be fat again.
i felt that i lost myself within six months.

i cried and he held me.
he didn't question me, he answered what i was screaming.
he told me the bags under my eyes, they will go away with sleep.
he told me the weight i have gained will go away once i get back to being active.
he told me the money will come and go.
and after all my tears came out, he kissed me on the forehead.

i knew he told me the truth because he is my best friend.

allison mcnary