The 5 Love Languages
The 5 Love Languages
Over the years, I've learned a lot about interacting and socializing with people. As an INTJ (Myer Briggs Personality Test, also another test to understand yourself better), It didn't come easy. I was a shy guy and still am. If you throw me into the crowd, I would probably slide away and go to the nearest bar or corner and play my phone. Yes, though I'm an Introvert, I'm a trained Extrovert. I can be choleric or a leader if need be. I can push myself to also be very outspoken when situation arises. But I would probably feel a slight discomfort.
So What is the 5 love Languages?
Simply put it, there are 5 types of affections shown by people in a relationship, mainly to know your primary love language/action, what it means to you and how you use them to connect to others. For me, this doesn't just narrow down to your intimate partner, but it can be your father, mother, and various loved ones. To be able to love effectively is to be able to speak the same language.
The 5 Love Languages Test - 10 minutes
For 12 being the highest, these are the scores to my love languages. For this, I'm going to explain it from my point of view, so that you can relate. Maybe share some experiences too and learn a thing or two. :)
PS. I'm no love guru but I always want to give my loved ones the best.
No. 1 Quality Time
The show of undivided attention really means a lot to you. Whether it's spending time doing something together, or just chilling and having a nice conversation. Usually, the relationship would deepen through the time spent together. For me, I always feel loved when someone were to give me just some time together uninterrupted. Doesn't have to be spending the time doing an activity, but just a simple call or text.
And as you can see, this is my highest love language. For friends and loved ones, u just gotta spend some time with me for me to feel loved by you. Sometimes a surprise message would let me know that you're thinking of me. :)
No. 2 Words of Affirmation
They say action speaks louder than words. But that's not always the case for me. I feel lots of love and appreciation when someone tells me how important I am to them. Hearing the words 'I love you' would probably put me on cloud 9 for few days and weeks. But this also reflects, when someone was to insult or say negative things about me. It will feel like the whole world will start crumbling down. For someone who has this as one of their top love language, an encouragement speaks volumes to them.
No. 3 Physical Touch
When you make the girl you like laugh and she touches your arm or grabs it. Your heart would probably skip a beat. Yes, physical touch is strong in this one. People who have this as their top love language needs a physical touch to assure them that they're loved. They're very touchy and this is how they would communicate their love to others as well. Appropriate touches can often calm, soothe or show love to the person. When I was in a relationship, I had to see my GF almost everyday and to cuddle, if not I would go havoc with 'i miss you' messages.
No. 4 Acts of Service
My father has a high score for this love language. He would constantly work day and night to make sure that my family is well and there's always food on the table. He is not a man of the physical touch, but he shows his love by making sure that we live a good life. Sometimes when it's not about being the bread winner of the family, it could be helping the one you love with a special project or as simple as homework. Easing someone else's burden and responsibilities is how you communicate your love to them. When someone portrays laziness and no commitments in the relationship, it may deliver a message that you don't care to the speaker of this language.
No. 5 Receiving gifts
It is not as straight forward as you think it is. It does not have to be materialisitic but the thoughtfulness and effort behind the gift. When someone shows you a nice gesture, you will feel loved, cared for and accepted. And what can destroy this someone who speaks this language? Probably when you've forgotten the important events, such as anniversaries, birthdays, monthsary and many more dates. Gifts are the symbol of your love and affection for each other.
Conclusion
Well, I usually do this test to understand myself more and how I see things. Sometimes things can be misinterpreted that you're not being loved by someone else, but maybe, their 'love languages' are different. Some may feel that giving a gift is a waste of time and money, but some may feel loved receiving them. So if you're interested, do take a go at the test and may your relationship flourish in time.
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What's most important is that you think about the other person
And gift shows it, the price of the gift, really does not matter (to me),
If my wife makes me a cake that I like for my birthday (as always)
That's enough for me, I do not need anything big and grand.
So yours could be Receiving Gifts or Acts of Service for your primary / secondary love language.
Thanks for sharing :)
Hello fellow introvert! 😊 I’m an INFP so a lot of what you said resonates with me. You peaked my interest in this Love Languages rest. Honestly, I can’t believe I haven’t read the book. It’s been out forever! Thanks for detailing the info and reminding me to investigate further! Knowledge is power ✌🏽
Oooo nice! Fellow INTJ here! I guess we will definitely have some similarities in thoughts and how we feel about certain things. What makes us withdraw ourselves and what makes us take certain actions.
Mine is quality time too!
Great post! My fiancé always jokes around saying all 5 love languages are his love language, and money is his 6th love language. Haha
Hahhahha! Thanks for dropping by :) Followed you
hahaha! who says money can't buy love? ;)
Born introvert, but trained extrovert. I totally understand this. I guess I am one too. 💗❤️💖💕
Work needs us to be that way sometimes ey? :D
Yes
I smell someone's in love wohoo
Love is a good thing no? :D
As straightforward as love language test results may appear, relationships can be complicated to understand. From time to time, our love language may also change - like mine! LOL
That is true! What is your love language btw? :) Welcome to #teammalaysia.
I took mine sometime last year, and if I can remember correctly, it is...
Quality Time - Words of Affirmation - Receiving Gifts - Physical Touch - Acts of Service.
During college years, I think it was receiving gifts first LOL
Yes, as we age from one year to another, we experience things differently and eventually and the love language could re-arrange itself.
That's very true @littlenewthings. :)
Love is in the air and it's not even February yet! :D
Love is timelesssssss
I also did this test before. We used to let our youth group did it to understand themselves more. Thank you for sharing this. :)
Yeaaa, I let my youth group do this too. And the personality test.
Like @happycrazycon, we had a version of this in our Pre-Cana (Catholic marital requirement) call. All these years (and no longer Catholic) later, and hubby & I still don't speak the same language, but we've gotten fluent in each other's.
Awesome post, @zord189 - can't wait to see what you come up with for Valentine's day... grin
Haha @traciyork, share some good tips for valentine's day plz. Need to learn from someone experienced. :D
LOL! Certainly, @zord189 - my first tip is: Remember, the wife/girlfriend is always right... 😉 😆
Gotcha. Learning learning. What else?? :D I'm all ears!
Okay, the second tip (and this is even more important than the first): Don't forget tip #1. 😃
Hahahaha, good one @traciyork. Gonna bear that in mind :D
Just so you know hor, when you have someone in your life (your gf la) you both will need to take this test again for couples.
And remember to share your results with each other and carry out the love language of your partner's to your partner. You need to fill her love tank with her primary love language, and she will need to fill up your love tank with your primary love language.
Unless you both share identical love language sequence, other wise you will only be filling up your love tank and not hers.
I haven't done mine for a long time. So @zord189 next Saturday if got time come and join #teammalaysia gathering for more quality time together with fellow steem-ians
:D
That is true :D I would always do my best for her. Definitely these would rearrange and the myer brigg's personality test would also change according to diff seasons in life. :)
I just tested mine and I totally mine has totally rearranged! LOL.