I'm very familiar with what you speak about, even though I come from Canada. I've been in two long term relationships, one with an Iranian girl and the other with a Croatian girl. Both their families completely resented me for being a male, for not being of the right religion, and for other reasons I could probably never comprehend.
These relationship failed because they were much more easy to fail with me not having a connection to their family. A person can just drop you like a bag of rocks and never contact you again much more easily when you have no connection to their family.
There is only one circumstance I would ever be in a relationship again where my partners family is not in the picture, and that would be because my partner chose to cut them out of her life herself.
For the last 15 years of my life, I was never invited to Christmas dinner or any type of family function with my girlfriend. I had become so used to being disliked that I eventually became numb and accepting to it. Looking back however I feel incredibly foolish for not having a higher level of self respect.
I know you're not asking for advice, but I would say follow your heart. Don't try and balance two worlds, choose one. Abandon your own family if you have to, move forward in your life and create your own. True love can be destroyed through the attrition of family tensions. Remember above all else, you're the evolution of your parents, and that includes your style of thinking and rationalization. You have an innate responsibility to defy your parents, and to lead them down a modern path; you are the catalyst of evolution in the family.
Wow... Thanks a lot. You give me great hope.