Without love I will not play

This one comes straight from the heart of my jazz days of long ago where I found it so hard to play without love. It is set in the jazz cafe late at night...

The dead do not die for their voices are sealed inside the wind that blows forever.
Outside of this eternity I was blowing my horn all night long until I couldn’t take it anymore and so fell over at the bar later, when the lights had come up for half time.
I was breathing dust on the floor when Annie came for me and helped me into a chair and slapped my face when I went for her leg.
Dog, she said and griped me real hard and breathed into my ear: get it together for the second half or so help me you’re dead.

I wasn’t feeling too spectacular about any of it just then and so ordered a double and took out my makings to try and repair my torn soul.
I was kind of past it really, but I noticed the drummer lumbering onto the stage and heading for his drums.
Groaning and shaking my head I looked around me for somewhere to escape but the place was packed with me in the middle of all of it.
The manager came then and told me to get to it or else, and shoved a notice under my arm that that had the scent of despair written all over it.
My face was popped wide open for appeal as my eyes followed the guitar man as he got a large helping hand to his place on the stage.

Annie came on then and wrapped herself around the microphone and glared at me.
The drummer hit his drums with his sticks and growled and I just knew how he felt from where I was, crumbling into my drink.
The piano man strolled through the band and sat down at his piano, shook his arms about, and then pressed the keys a bit to see if they still worked.
A bag of sand weighed down each of my feet and my mind was erupting into the many angles to approach this thing, which is where I caught myself riding this bronco busting me and said: whoa, time out.
Without love I will not play. I stared at the microphone.

Oh yes you will, said the evil typewriter and took down my name from the register of all I was hanging onto.
I looked around to see if anything was going to happen and saw the whole band staring at me as if I had gone mad and flown away: tweet, tweet and tweet.
Maybe I will meet up with them later I thought. Picking up my horn I stood up to deafening applause so that I found myself on stage and ready to fall into the gap when it came.
The band waved goodbye to me as I turned around to get them all going.
Shit, I thought and blew straight through that sound until I knew I really was on my own.
Drama queen, said the angels, and brought me more wine.

Well the end came as it does. After all the clapping and such had died down and everyone took their seats again I just had to say something, fool that I was.
Now that I have your attention, ladies and gentlemen, I would like to take this moment to address the rest of the band so that you know who they are: on piano we have the many fingered lunatic baying at the moon…
The whole place stood up and went mad.
And on guitar is the melody man who will mood you until your eyes are whirling. I’ll take a cut of that one.
The applause kept on coming and began to take on the edge of something expectant.
Was I up to the job I wondered; thinking not, I was about to fall, when Annie stepped right beside me, and shook me out of my dreaming.

Let’s do this one together she said, taking the microphone out of my hand. I could only stare at her beauty as she addressed the audience who were mesmerised by her so that not one set of eyes was on me. I looked behind me to see if there was a way through, but the guitar man lowered his eyes to me to say: not this way you don’t.
I had mere moments to find a way out of here I thought and so stared wildly about me until my chin was lifted up to the stars where I detected the presence of a moon man looking down on me.
Annie turned around then and gave me a wink as she came again beside me to call me a peasant, and say: do something before we’re all lynched.

I bowed down a long way until I was looking at my toes that were painted some day-glow colour where I couldn’t lose.
The drummer gave a drum roll full of tabs of gold to make everyone rise to their feet; personally I felt I was going to have a heart attack. Oh, my god.
I was wondered where my friend was to save me from this when a splinter dabbed me in the eye so that I had to postpone all my appointments until another time and just get on with it.
Turning on the spit I became well done and forever more talked nothing more about it where we yearn to go home so that the drummer just had to hammer out a rhythm never heard of before. As I began to listen to it into my soul I knew that I could not play any more without love.

Oh blow me around
And count me alive
And find me dead in the morning…

I knew a challenge when I saw it and so stepping up to it I emerged into the ring where the conductor shone his torch at me and asked me for my ticket.
I pulled three and six from my pocket, and thrusting it into his hand I turned around again and vowed that the very next time I got to the pawn shop I’d go in and pawn everything I had, including my horn.
Ever started up the band on something and have one half play one thing and the other half play something else entirely?
Well I have and I can tell you it was really funny until the evil typewriter began weaving in and out of my dreams until I wasn’t there anymore.

Ah, professor?
Yes?
Is this the time to sing our hearts out?
You shall do as you do, I’m off to bed.
It was later, after I’d fallen asleep that the full feeling of reality swung out of the trees and doomed the time past midnight again until I woke up and put the cat out and fed the budgie like a real regular habit.
Somewhere around the back door of this there came to me instructions in the bird’s song and the wind that blew through my veins to move me in to where I was all things.
And then I became very still and played a single note that blew everyone off the stage…

Images from Pixabay