Love And The Big Picture
It is the subject of countless novels, poems, movies, songs and paintings. It is undeniably beautiful. It is the motivation behind so many great feats. Love is majestic. However, as a person of science, I do not believe that substances without matter should have great power over one's life. I must reiterate, I am not dismissing the existence of love, but rather the amount of impact it should have in someone's decisions. Our societal obligations should be to get an education, an ends-meeting job, and to fight prejudice in whatever way we can. Things that seem to get in the way of of these obligations should be much lower in our list of priorities.
I have never empathized with people who left their educations or defied their families for the person they loved. Perhaps, because I have never been in love, I don't find it a reasonable exchange. Romantic comedies are enigmas to me. How can someone decide so easily through fleeting moments that time spent with a certain individual makes them a "soulmate." For me, a question of whether to choose between my family or someone who simply isn't my family, regardless of how much I love them, isn't even plausible. Unless someone can conjure up a research paper that clearly concludes that choosing a person you deem as your "soulmate" makes you happier than pursuing higher education or having good relations with your family, I simply do not buy it.
Being that I am a heterosexual woman, I have always felt that women in romantic relationships with men (or really any relationship with men) are always on the losing end of things. I have often witness men consistently let down the women they "love" regardless of age, sex, or socioeconomic background. Traits such as infidelity and degradation have always been constants that plague many relationships. If love is so important, why is it that the person you love is led astray so easily? Contrary to lovers, your education, career and family are not so easily led astray. Both lovers and education, take time, effort and money to prosper. The difference being that an investment of your time, effort and money into your education is almost always guaranteed to give you a return. Buying someone dinner for two years, and then having them leave you for the next hot thing that walks through the door doesn't seem like a worthy return.
Of course, if somehow there is someone who fits into your career goals and your family likes him/her and he/she loves you unconditionally, why in the world would you not pursue that? Personally, I don't see that happening for myself. I do not say this to gain empathy, but rather to pragmatically explain that logistically, the chance of me finding someone who would fit into my plans for my future and my family are very slim. And that's alright because life is meaningful when you give it meaning. Just because you don't live your life like a romantic comedy, does not make you less deserving of happiness. Fulfillment is found in all aspects of life that you give importance to, I just believe that, that importance belongs in things with more longevity than romantic love.
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