That most embarrassing dinner.

A couple of months after my relationship ended, I decided to get back onto the dating scene.

It’s needless to say I was pretty nervous, I was with the same guy for years and I wasn’t sure if I still knew how to flirt or turn on a guy who wasn’t my partner.

« What do men even like these days » was constantly on my mind. It wasn’t easy at first as I am quite shy but I met a few guys who seemed nice at first. We’ll talk for days and have a good time but I’ll always come up with an excuse when they ask me out on a date.

There was always something about the guy I’ll dislike when we are about to go out, one guy sent me a dick pic a day before our date and I was just like « why would I want to go on a date with you now that I know what that D looks like »

There was also this other guy who asked me to snap him my butthole, it may be standard these days but for someone who’s just starting to date again it’s quite freaky.

The days went on and I started to lose interest in dating when I met him aka « hot dad » Just like me he was also a lone parent with 2 kids.

We met at a playground when his son pushed my daughter, he came over to apologise we really hit it off. The funny thing is that he thought I was just looking after my sister’s kids.

He didn’t think they were mine because I have a great « figure », it was hard to believe that 2 girls popped out of this body. You have no idea jow happy it made me, I’ll never get tired of men reactions when I say I have 2 kids, they usually look me up and down twice before saying I look amazing. That’s exactly why I constantly hit the gym, I’m just too vain to let myself go.

Anyways we talked a bit more while the kids were playing and exchanged our numbers when it was time to leave. He called that night, we spoke on the phone first then he FaceTimed me for an hour.

Our conversation would seem boring to other people but it meant a lot to us as we knew how hard it is to be a single parent. The following weekend we agreed to meet at a park and let the kids play together.

That’s when he told me more about himself, apparently his wife said that she didn’t want to have anything to do with the kids when she left. It was a good day and we had a great time together, he then called me later that evening to ask me out on a date.

He was different from the guys I met so far, nothing sexual ever came up during our conversations and I really enjoyed his company

We agreed that he’ll pick me up at a specific time on a certain day, I was excited and couldn’t wait for it. I’ve been single for months and been feeling quite lonely if you see what I mean.

I had all sorts of scenarios play out in my mind, from our first kiss to a blowjob(just one of those things I love) then sex. It won’t happen on the same day of course but it definitely will if our first date goes well.

On the day he was supposed to pick me up I received a parcel from my sister who lives in France. It was a special gift to keep me “company” on my lonely nights.

It was close to my date time and I had to get dressed so I just left it on the sofa after I unpacked it.

I took a shower, got dressed and I was doing my makeup when my doorbell rang, my date was outside. He was a few minutes early and I didn’t have my shoes on yet.

I let him in and told him to wait in the living room while I finish getting dress, I showed him to the living room and told him to turn the tv on whilst he waited.

This is where things get both funny and embarrassing, when my date walked into my living room the first thing that caught his eyes was the vibrator I left on the sofa.

That’s the gift my sister sent me, “have fun until you get yourself a boyfriend” she said in the note attached to it.

I can’t really say what went through his mind when he saw it, but I totally felt the change in mood when I walked in.

“You want it that bad?! You are going to get it” is what I saw in his eyes whe he looked at me. He thought maybe the vibrator on the sofa was me dropping hints.

He moved closer and kissed me, his hands were all over me and I could feel his boner so I pushed him back and asked “what about dinner? I thought you booked a table at a restaurant”