in love •  2 months ago

The bloody homesickness....!!!

As much as I have always enjoyed travelling, I did also realise during the last few months on the road that it gets tiring after a while and that I do love to have a place to come back to. I tried to find this in Mexico and kept myself there for weeks, but in the end it didn't feel right and so I returned to Germany.

When looking for a place to feel at home, I suppose it makes sense to look at one's actual place of birth. But as nice as it was to connect with my oldest friends, to drink the undoubtedly best beer in the world and to extend the amazingly hot summer I had experienced in Latin America by another 3 months, after a few long weeks I couldn't wait to leave the place again.

First I thought there was something wrong with me again, because I had listened to the wrong people instead of just trusting myself! But if the last few months have taught me something, then it is that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me and when I said, years ago after moving abroad for the very first time, that I couldn't stand to be in Germany for more than a week then this is not because I need any "healing" in that regard but simply because it's not where I belong.

Returning to Scotland last week for the first time in 4 years for a road trip along the Northern coast, I was really tired and although the views were more than breathtaking, I didn't really enjoy most of the trip. I couldn't stand the constant movement anymore and just wanted to arrive somewhere but had no fuckin idea where that would be... Until, at the very end of the trip, I arrived back in Glasgow - the city I always wanted to live in, ever since I first set foot in it! The city I was very happy to leave again after a series of unfortunate events and a job offer from Gibraltar the day before Christmas 2010.

Glasgow, for me, has a certain magic to it that I cannot explain. Just coming down the M8, crossing the Clyde River and looking at the first couple of buildings in the city centre is basically enough for me to have multiple orgasms without even touching myself!

Not really the most beautiful place on the planet according to public opinion, but honestly... fuck public opinion!

Arriving back in Glasgow after the road trip my friend, who was driving all the way, understandably got slightly annoyed at the traffic and started swearing a bit. Usually reason enough for me to somehow get involved in the situation and join the swearing, this time I didn't care the slightest bit what was happening around me as I was in full-on drooling mode, daydreaming about moving back, just looking at the Clyde and the Hydro, unable to get that smirk off my face for the rest of the day...

I could keep going here but I think you got the idea by now and... so did I!

The place called home I was looking for so long, is a place I have left years ago - very fitting that, arriving back in my friend's flat, the first thing I saw was the book "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho! (Unfortunately it was in Polish but I SO HAVE TO GET IT NOW!!!)

It feels like a circle is closing for me right now and so I have booked a flight to Scotland for the 5th of October 2018 - exactly the same day I left Germany to move to Scotland the first time around in 2008... The same day I have celebrated as my second "birthday" ever since. How very fitting!

This is where I belong. This is where I will celebrate my 10th birthday and hopefully many many more!

Glasgow, I'm coming home.


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