IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP MUCH BETTER

Years back, my criticism of this work would have started from the title given to this write-up, specifically, the idea of calling Relationship “a game” is something that I classified as disrespectful to use in the description of human feelings. But today, I chose to use this word to emphasize the importance of planning, strategy, decision-making and critical thinking in the running and management of this great human-can’t-do-without. I’ve some friends claim that

LOVE is a game as well, but I’m yet to agree to that, because neither do I agree with their school of thought of Love matters nor any of the feelings fit in the place of a game

One can say a game is a competitive activity with set rules, one engages in with the purpose of achieving certain goals which makes one a or the winner. And “relationship”, by the same dictionary is described as the way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected; the way in which two or more people or groups regard and behave towards each other; an emotional and sexual association between two people.

My inference from the given definition is any association, between two people for specific purpose, where each person relate to the other in a pre-agreed manner. I know that most of the readers would disagree with my definition of relationships, but the truth is, if any of these features is not in place, then the so-called relationship is not a relationship. It is one of those other things that look like relationship such as company, co-operative and corporation. Also, considering what it means to “win”, the same dictionary proffer these meanings: be successful or victorious in (a contest or conflict); acquire as a result of a contest, conflict, etc. In my own words, I’d say, to win means to get ones goals, targets, ambitions or fulfill the purpose of a thing. Now we can discuss the ways to winning in any kind of relationship.

There are a couple of things that one needs to consider in this context such as, how does one know that one is winning in one’s relationship?

What are the things one needs to watch out for (pointers)? What are the rules of playing the game (games are meant to be played)? These are some of the questions that we would be asking ourselves in the course this series. Since we can’t take on all of these questions today, I would start from the first one.

He sat down to think for a while, she just asked him a question she had always asked him since the first time they spoke, only this time she was more elaborate and detailed in terms of how her answer should be presented. Toby, an outspoken, intelligent, young man in his mid-thirties, was confused and for the first time since he graduated from elementary school, is faced with a question he knows he ought to have an answer to but he didn’t know what answer to give. They have been friends for over twelve years and had dated for about a year and half now, but when he spoke with her about marriage she asked him what seemed like a simple question which turned out to be the most difficult question he had ever come across. Sylvia only wanted to know his mind, what he was looking at, where his stories were headed, if he was for real or just pulling her legs. An elderly friend of hers had asked her the same question which was some months back and she is yet to find a true answer to from within her.

A friend of mine once said, “If you do not have a place you are going, everywhere would look like the right place to stop.” Just like in every other thing one does in life, one should have a vision, purpose or a reason for entering into any relationship. Without a purpose which one intends to fulfill in the relationship, one wouldn’t be able to tell whether one is winning or losing in that relationship.

Think of relationships as a business venture of partnership, and everything you give it as your investment into it, if the business is to make profit, records need to be kept so as to monitor the purchases done and sales made by the company.

The vision of where we want to be and where we currently are can be very useful in judging if we are progressing or retrogressing. Relationships are meant to make one better, like the old saying goes, “two good heads are better than one”. Most people going into relationships forget that they have things they ought to do as individuals. If there is anything truth I can tell you today, it is that “a good relationship is not that one you enter with the right person, rather it is the one that makes you a better person”. If your relationship isn’t making you better, then I guess it isn’t two good heads that are there.
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Let's stop here for now, to continue the exploration next time on how to win in this game called “RELATIONSHIP”.