HOW TO REACT TO AN INFIDELITY?

The wounds of infidelity are not easily forgotten over time and almost  never heal at all, but we all deserve second chances in life.
Although fear will always be there, we can try mutual reconciliation.

With the first infidelity the innocence of the relationship is lost.
It breaks our trust in the couple and many of our values ​​fall to the ground.
But .. how should we react?
Which is the best option?

The impact of infidelity:
Infidelity, many times, arises when we least expect it. A message on our partner's cell phone. An email. A photograph or an inescapable clue that the person we love has been unfaithful to us.
How to react? An interesting aspect that psychologists explain is that people have the obsession to understand everything. To look for an explanation that reveals why this act had to happen.
1 Lack of love
2 Boredom
3 A casual encounter.
4 A personality trait that we did not know in our partner.
5 Lack of maturity of our partner.
6 even our fault: for lack of attention, little time to share ...

One aspect that  is clear before all is that this: to suffer an infidelity, many times we  feel an attack directly on our self-esteem. Not only will we feel anger at what happened, pain and even hate, but it is also normal that we feel humiliated. Hence, sometimes you run the risk of falling into a great depression. But actually…
 

How should we react?

What would be the most reasonable in these cases?

How do you usually react to an infidelity?
The way in which people usually react to infidelity will depend on several key factors:
How infidelity has been.

Something punctual?

Or the constant routine has enough time?
Do we feel responsible?

Have we neglected our partner too much?
It will also depend on how the discovery was made.
 

Does your partner still deny it?

Or do you recognize it and do not regret it from your heart?
Our personality will also make us react in one way or another.


Let's see now what are the most common ways of reacting to an infidelity:

1 Find a Guilty One of the most common ways. In our eagerness to understand we are obsessed sometimes in looking for any culprit.
Either we focus all our contempt towards our partner for what he did,  or we can direct him to that person with whom, we have been infidels.
Finding guilty helps us to vent our guilt, but it must be something punctual. After targeting the guilty, separation or even forgiveness usually arises.

2 Revenge There are many people who, after an infidelity, seek to harm the couple. We may have decided to separate and break the relationship forever.
Or it may even have been decided to continue with the coexistence but pay with the same currency. Be that as it may, some people seek revenge by maintaining another  relationship, seeking to provoke in the other the same pain, the same  suffering that was previously felt.

3 Forgiveness We must be clear, forgiving does not always mean reconciling with our partner. We can continue with the relationship but to forgive is not to forget everything.
Sometimes it forces us to rebuild the relationship with an uncomfortable base of resentment, which is not always easy to carry. But it can also happen that despite everything we succeed in prospering happily.
If forgiveness has been offered because there is real and authentic repentance, we can accept it. I repeat But it will not be easy, we must learn to live with a (small or great chronic pain).

4  A new stage in the couple It may surprise you a lot, but there are  couples in which, after an infidelity, a new stage of more intensity in  the couple emerges. Full reconciliation arises and a stage of greater affective intensity and sexually as well.
On the one hand, there is the fear of losing the loved one whom you  already know well, the guilt of those who have been unfaithful and those  long conversations in which important aspects have been clarified.
It's amazing, we know, but it usually happens in this life.

5 Definitive separation Inevitably and obviously understandable. Infidelity is a betrayal of commitment, the pact of intimacy between two people.
It is an offense to our feelings and an attack on our self-esteem, personal and mental balance.
Not all people are capable of offering true forgiveness, and not all people also deserve such apology on our part. Most of the time, infidelity ends in rupture.

But what is the best option after an infidelity?
 

There is no better or worse option. The best option is one that offers balance and emotional and mental tranquility. The wounds of infidelity are not forgotten over time and almost never heal completely.
We can try reconciliation with our partner, but fear will always be there in between.

Forgiveness is always therapeutic, we know .. but sometimes it is not  for all people, being the healthiest then the break and our own  recovery.
But if this betrayal is considered as something punctual and you think it will never happen again, go ahead.

We all deserve second chances, but the other person should strive and  show your sincere affection and authentic heartfelt repentance.

Forgive if you are capable and if you think you will be able to continue with the relationship. But  if your self-esteem is fragmented and you feel that your interior is  too broken to move on, it distances and ends with what hurt you. Now it's time to recover, to get up again and look to the horizon with hope.

Always a pleasure to write for you I hope you help them here your friend and server @sugestiones

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