I love him madly and I'm afraid to lose

My story will seem unacceptable to many, but it is real. A little over a year ago I met a man. He is a young, handsome man. When we met, it turned out that he was married. He did not hide it from me. It was already evening, and I decided it was time to go home. A few days later he called me. I do not know how it happened that we started to communicate. It all began as an easy flirtation. I was not even going to fall in love with him. We talked, but after a while we met. So we started dating.

In his attitude towards me, it seemed to me that he, too, loved me, although we were silent about it. I knew that, most likely, he would never leave his wife, even though he said that the relationship was not simple, but there was some hope that we would be together. I did not want anyone to be evil, but I could not give it up, because I loved it like no one, and never even imagined a life without it. When we quarreled - I did not know how to continue to be, and when I was reconciled - I wanted to fly. Probably, it would be so, and I would be happy next to him. But it turned out that someone else knows about us. One day someone called on his phone. The tube was taken by his wife. And this voice introduced myself in my name and told me that my wife did not stop us from being together. That's where it all began. Then he does not want to talk to anyone, he just does not call, because he does not go to work, then he just walks with the children, then just no mood. It seems like everything is getting better, but not for long. He sort of believes that it's not me, but the relationship is far from what they used to be.

Yes, I guessed that after that it might be worse, but I did not want to believe it. I can not live without him, and with him it became so hard. So bad in my heart that I do not know how to continue to be. My story deserves the most critical comments, but I wrote it to just say it. I thought it might become easier, but it did not.