A story of long distance love

This is a story on love...truthfully, this is my story of love.

I’m South Korean by birth. Like all its good male citizens, the government called me for the two-year mandatory military service ever since I became eighteen. So, after studying in the US, at the age of 23, I entered the Navy.

I could never adjust to the life within those walls. Juniors were constantly harassed even physically tortured by their seniors, and the lack of freedom made it more like a concentration camp rather than a service. If you don’t believe me, ask a fellow South Korean by nationality.

But in those dark years of my youth, on one leave, I fell in love with a French girl. Ah I know. The story is already set for disaster, but she was an exchange student, and through the prayers of the stars, my wishes came true, and we dated.

We were able to make it because we fell for each other. But the military called me again, so in between leaves I only had about one month to actually see her. I sent her mails incessantly and called her whenever I had the chance. She was the sun of my life.

I longed for the day I would get out, but there was a catch. By the time I’d finish in August, she would’ve returned to France. Inside the walls inside the heavy thoughts bearing on my mind, there was no way to see her off, since I was locked.

And she was young. Yes, she was. As much as she loved me, she could not handle the pressure that came with the long distance. As much as I loved her, the true test of love was not to keep what was not mine, but to let it depart towards true happiness. So I broke up with her and let her go. A glass heart shattered on stone.

Not soon after, she made a new boyfriend, and I made a new girlfriend as well. We kept in touch, but she wanted me to cut all virtual ties with her completely. Again, taking what was left of that glass heart, I smashed it. I do understand, however, with tears. She was in so much pain trying to forget me, and here was I, still salting her wounds, still trying to toy with her emotions.

It’s already been a couple years, and she’s forgotten. I’ve contacted her every now and then, but she gives me no reply. In the dark, her smile still haunts me. But if I could turn back the hands of time, I probably could not do better. How can I forget someone who I loved? If I truly loved that person, is it possible to forget? If I could forget then wouldn’t it have not been love in the first place?

The sun of my life became the darkness of my days.

So from here, if you ever happen to stumble across this, I want to tell you that I love you. I want only happiness for you. I will always look upon your life with an adoration of the wonder that is you.

I always knew that being selfish is not love. Love is unconditional and long-lasting. So I would hope you’d realize that. With all your selfishness before and till now, I ache. Did I say? I miss you enough for two hearts, but that’s for another life now.

To digress, it’s just another story of battles fought and love lost. To quote a Korean poet,

“I wish a love that hurts so much wasn’t love…”