Lost and Found: A Life Lesson

This a story of loss, sort of, but with a happy ending.

I have an old friend from about 10 years ago when we both worked at Civil Service. I was a noob back then, just starting my career while he was a cynical old dog.

I met him around 1995 when I needed some obscure technology setup on a webserver. The management gave him little to do as they were trying to push him into retirement and I was considered a "youthfully exuberant" annoyance to the old guard who wanted things to stay the same with respect to technology.

They assigned "Fred" to help me, probably feeling like it would be punishment for both of us. But, instead, an unlikely friendship was formed. We began to have lunches and talk politics and he became a trusted ally in navigating the political minefield that was and is State government.

He retired in 2000, but we continued to stay in touch and even have lunch every few months or so. He had mellowed out a bit and his most recent hobby was taking care of feral cats on his property and even partnering with a vet to have them spayed and neutered. He also liked to bowl and was on a team.

The last time I saw him was probably sometime before Thanksgiving. He met me at a place near where I work. The lunch was good, yet a bit rushed because I had recently been ill so I had to get back to work. We didn't get to chat as long as we sometimes did. Afterward, I thought that he didn't finish his sandwich and seemed quieter than usual, but pushed any worry from my mind.

I emailed him a few days before Christmas wishing him a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Because I was still a little sick, and with the hustle and bustle of the holiday, I didn't notice that he did not email me back for a few weeks.

His emails were always prompt, so I became a little worried. I forwarded the email telling him I hoped all was well and that I wasn't sure if he missed my email.

When I did not hear anything back, I started googling and found that 2 days before Christmas, my friend had died peacefully in his sleep surrounded by family.

I was shocked and sad and I left a tribute on his memorial web page. I was reflecting a lot on what I would have done differently during our last lunch together. Maybe listened a little more, talked a little less, and not been in such a hurry to get back to the office.

I promised a happy ending, so here it is. Later that night, I was at my computer and suddenly I received an email from him. Understandably, I was a little freaked out. When I opened it, it was him saying he was sorry he missed my email. He thought I was away for the holidays and wasn't checking his emails. I am happy he is not deceased, needless to say. I also hope that I didn't confuse the relatives of the deceased person with the memorial tribute to "Fred".

But the moral of the story is that you never know when the last time you are going to see someone is, so always make every time you see your friends and loved ones count as if it were the last. Every day is a gift. We are all here on borrowed time.