Note to Self

I'm a woman. I'm emotionally driven and I like to do things the right way. By the book, not in order though but the way I think is fit. There's a method to my madness believe me.

I miss that feeling, I don't actually miss you... well at least I'm trying not to. I just don't understand how someone could be so cruel. I don't deserve to be mistreated and used. I was too kind too naive, innocent if you may say. I did not know what type of world we were living in until I took my first steps. It was baby steps at first, until life took a left turn. I wasn't pacing myself anymore. I was running at all odds, full steam ahead in the direction of destruction. I was led to believe that everything was okay and what was happening between us was normal. I know to you it wasn't a big deal , but to me it was. I couldn't even control the way I was feeling. It was hard for me to even describe to myself the type of person I was. I was succumbed by so much emotion. I felt empty, I felt alone, I felt used, and most of all disgusting. I lowered my standards. I've never thought I of all people would stoop that low for temporary satisfaction.

I knew in my heart it was wrong, my soul was telling me to run away. My body was too weak. I was blinded by the signs that were disguised as something that I thought I wanted.

First post
xoxoxoxo
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