How did I get here

in #love7 years ago

Hi Steemit-ers

My name is Piere D. Barnes
Grew up in the heart of Saint Paul. Childhood home on Aurora and Grotto in the Frogtown area. With one brother who was three years older and a sister who was on year older than I was. All March birthday's. 1st, 7th, and 12th. We grew up in a Baptist church community. And went to church Monday's, Wednesdays, Friday's and Sundays. (Usher, choir, bible study) Most of the time. (Which began my appetite to finding how God works)
As far as accomplishments. Since moving out the parents house. At the age of seventeen with no place , moved into a good friends house on the other side of Summit Avenue (Ben Davis) and continued to go to highschool until I graduated in June 2002. With a little help from the think tank, we figured out on how to get a D+ in our social studies class. With a little proposition, that came in the shape of a pie, it was easy. I played football for three years. Ran track for 3 years and did gymnastics for three and a half years.
After I graduated from Central high school, I joined the military (Air Force) October 10, 2002. With a little encouragement from a father who was too busy with his own life to be worried for mine . (He's a good man, I forgive him) I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for his absence and my "step up" Dads presents. Not that he was the perfect alcoholic parent , but hey, we was damn consistent and committed.
In the military, I joined the communications flight (3A0) as an information manager. After bootcamp which I attended in Texas at Lackland Airforce base and six weeks later attended Kessler AFB in Biloxi Mississippi. I came home. In between time I traveled to Alaska in the summer to experience twenty three and a half hours of daylight. Scotts AFB in St.Louis. Utah, Flordia, New Orleans and stayed one night in Florida on my way to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Where I lost a stripe. For showing a lack of respect for a superior and also getting drunk enough to write on the wall with the butt end of a pool stick.
While at home, still in the military, I contined to drink, party and smoke. Didn't take long before that caught up to me. The first time was, while i was staying at a friends house on the East side of St.Paul I ended up getting a gross misdemeanor for riding around with a loaded Shotgun (calm down, it was a BB gun) didn't do any time for that.
The next time I got in to it with the law I was twenty two and made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. One night after cutting some hair and drinking some 211's ,which is malt liquor . I decided to be a leader of 4 other individuals who were younger than me (minors ) out on a hunt around town. For the record I am not proud of this part of my life, and neither are the young men that accompanied me that night. Who are Now grown responsible parents. So I will keep it brief... we ended up hurting one man who later needed stiches. At the end of 2005 i got sentenced to 15 months. Which was a pretty hard sentence, considering the outcome. I had to do eight months in St. Cloud prison and seven months in Still Water prison.
Rewind back to August 2005 I began barber school at the Minneapolis school of Barbering . Where I completed 850 of my 1500 hours needed to graduate. And as soon as I "caught the case" I get kicked out of barber school.
This is where God came in tbe picture...
Lucky for me about two months into my bid , I found some light. St.Cloud offered a barber program! I found out what I had to do to get up there. Wrote Bill Dietman, who was in charge of the class. Told him my situation and how much time I had left. At first we thought I didn't have enough time to complete the course. Thank God, I did. The time I did was hard I could count on two hands how many visits received, on one hand how many different people.
I guess they were ashamed of me. Point taken.
As soon as I got released in June 2007 I past my barber test and began working at a barbershop right away. I also started drinking and doing drugs right away and hanging around the same people in whom I got into trouble with before.
Needless to say I found more trouble... I like to call her my ex wife. Who, by the way, was a good person... just not good for me. My ex wife came with my first little angel . Who at that time was only 2 years old.
Still drinking and finding myself in a interracial relationship, we get pregnant, get this, the first time we have sex. Uh oh! I was still with someone... needless to say I left who I was with to take care of my responsibilities as a father... moved to Albertville. Proposed to my ex wife December 2008 married March 18th 2009 with my daughter in her womb walking down the aisle.
Here comes the big shift in perspective. ..
My daughter was born April 13th 2009 Justine Beyond Barnes. Her mother chose her first name, based on it appearing to her through a dream and I chose her second name so she could "Dream Beyond" her last name. Throughout our whole marriage was really rocky and foggy. We didn't know eachother. We didn't know ourselves. And we sure didn't know this baby. Like I said, my ex wife and I had a really unstable marriage . Though I did get her to join my childhood church, I had no idea what I was doing. Hiw to manage a family or how to keep her there. That was the way that I saw it. 1. Get a wife 2.Take her to church along with the kids 3. Keep her there. Boy was I in for a surprise. Thought i was doing good, at one time, we were volunteering driving the church van bringing people to church on Sunday. Around that time I wasn't making too much money in the barbershop so I was working at Ace auto the junk yard in Saint Paul. Until i finally got the urge to quit to follow my passion... 100%
We were the nomad family. We moved from Albertville to Saint Michaels, to Northeast Minneapolis, then from Fridley to New Brighton.
My theory on why things were so hard was, in the beginning of my wife and I's relationship, she was going to the cosmetologyschool next to the first barbershop that I ever worked at and she wanted to be a Hairdresser and do nails, like my Mother! My Lovely mother who, at that time had her own shop "Expirez" on Lexington and Grand thought my plan would be sound. I was making the best out of my situation. Trying to get my wife to want to make it a family business on Grand. Makes sense right? Well, not to my wife.
Two years after being married, my wife took her test 5 times and didn't pass. I asked her what the plan was doing hair something that was still in her future. At that moment she told me that her mom made her go to school, she didn't want to do hair.
I was torn all in pieces. .. I still had to be a "supportive husband" so I asked ,what do you want to do? She said she wanted to be a nurse. I said ok. Within that year, I found her a book, on nursing. Jump ahead one year. She did not make any progress with the nursing, then she wanted to be CSI then, an interpreter . And I just wanted to be done !
So I left to stay with my Father in Fridley after a big argument about me being irresponsible about a tatoo.
Let's skip ahead to the divorce.

It was the day before our first day in court for the divorce. I just started working at Hiemies Haberdashery downtown Saint Paul which was huge ! I actually found out that I landed that job when I was helping my ex move. While she was having so much fun being single, which was ok and I understood because I was hard to get along with. I just wish she would have been more honest at the time. Working at Hiemies Haberdashery meant there was a steady income doing what I liked doing. I saw that as an opportunity to work things out with my wife. So I wrote her a poem. I said outloud so everyone could hear, " I need a ring for this poem." I was guided to go next door to Landmark Jewelers to shop for a ring. So I did. And when I got there I found the perfect ring. The store clerk Tamara, wrapped it and asked how I would be paying for the ring?
I told her the whole story about me just starting the job next door , and how I could pay her back by Friday. Tamara said she did not have the authority to do it. So she asked Roger , who was the store manager at that time.
He had to tell me no as well.
But not without giving me a lifeline to call the owner of Landmark Jewelers, and ask her, who said... yes.
I had seven dollars in my pocket that day.
I knew God was with me.

The next day, im waiting at the courthouse for the ex and she finally shows up. She sits down next to me . I immediately begin the procedure, i tell her that I was going o journey and I wanted her to come with. I read her the poem on my knee, she immediately began to cry. She said," I need some time." I slid her the ring and said, "Take all the time you want."
The hearing officer came out... good news for me... OUR JUDGE WAS SICK! Divorce postponed!
That same day I took her back to Landmark Jewelers where they told her that she could upgrade the ring whenever she wished. I also took her to Hiemies and introduced her to everyone there. We went out to eat! She paid. Everything was looking good .

Well...
That was until less than a week later we had a get together at the Rainforest restaurant at the mall of America. All of my family was there and some of hers. You know, perfect time to tell everybody that we are staying together. Right?
As we stand there waiting for the rest of the party i notice something. I noticed her finger was empty, no ring.
Of course I asked her about it. I was hurt. Noone else knew why my lip was poking out so far.
I believe it was a couple days later I was on my way to where she was living with the kids at the time. I called and ket her know that I was on my way and she said ok. It wasn't until I got there that I find out that my kids are sick. But not the oldest who was 6 at the time. I walk in the house. I notice some unfamiliar shoes at the door. A jacket hanging over the top of the couch and I head upstairs.
On my way upstairs i notice the ex acting suspicious so I call her out on it... and took it upon myself to open up her room door... BOOM!!!
To my surprise. A man on the bed.
I was HOT!
I had to call my biological father who I felt always took her side... He said so gracefully , words I will never forget, "Do what you went there to do." For me, that meant to get the kids for church and go. But before I could walk out the house with my ex wifes daughter for the last time. I went back upstairs to say some words to this mystery guy. I said to him, word for word, " I prayed to God for a sign and here you are right here right now! I am trying to bring this woman up to this level with me (as I jesture with my hands) but she wants to stay down here with you. At that time I was giving her money so I told him "If you want to here, help her out! Because I am not paying your way! That's when he buzzedin and asked, DId she make you believe you two were getting back together? And before I coukd fix my lips to answer she yells, "I NEVER SAID WE WERE GOING TO GET BACK TOGETHER !" etc. I turned to him slowly and said, "I am going to let you believe what ever comes out of her mouth." That was exactly what i said and it was the end of the conversation, upstairs at least. For some reason we all navigate down stairs. He comes down last. The first thing he says is , " This seems like a good dude. You need to work things out with him." And walks out the door. I never seen him again. I said to her after he drove off, that I got the sign that I needed to move on. As she sat on the couch crying for another man in front of me. I knew that would be the last time that I would pursue her. And it was. I took our daughter to Sea world at MOA and church for the last time and wouldn't see her for another 2 years after because her mother sent her to Newyork, to be with her biological father. That was a sad time in my life. I still miss that little angel who is now 10 years old. I saw her play soccer last summer when I was invited to one of her games while she was visiting her mother. It wasn't until then, that I realized,I missed her.
When my wife took the heart that was reserved for her and threw it back at me. I took it and gave it to some one who had three kids with three different men. It seemed right at the time. Ive had some real bad judgement calls in my day. Thus women ended up trying to do the same thing to me. Fortunately but unfortunately she had a miscarriage! I ran as fast as I could after that. And during that time I found out how to get a careless driving. Lose my license for a year. While paying 1675.00 for rent and riding a long board and the bus from Apple Valley to Downtown Saint Paul. Had to get out of that as soon as I broke up with Miss hot skirt. And quit drinking . May 25th 2013. It wasn't easy, but u didn't need anything more than missing work one day a week . Paying fifty eight dollars per week for thirthy six weeks was all I needed... so I thought.

In between that time and now I have worked at T and C Barbershop in Brooklyn Park, The Groom Room Downtown Saint Paul across the street from Mickeys Diner , Uptown Floyds barbershop, Uppercuts on Nicollet and 15th where I coordinated/organized my first National Night Out, Great clips in Eden Prairie, All Pro Barbershop in Ridgedale mall. My moms salon Expirez, and last but not least Elevations barbershop in saint paul where I was open 7 days a week and on call in the beginning of my barber career.
I also worked at Menards in the yard in Eden Prairie, metropolitan supply in Chanhassen, liquor store in Little Canada Minnesota, recieved my bartenders license.Jiffy Lube, Ace auto parts.

Right now, I have been unemployed since I got back from vacation . I took my kids on a plane to see my mom and their aunty and nephew in Texas. That was the beginning of December.
My excuse for getting in my own way.Before I left for vacation, the mall hours opened up two hours later than when I returned. I got to the shop three minutes late on my first day back and the owner of the shop tried to charge me thirty bucks for three minutes. And I had to leave. Because I told him the last time he took that amount of money from me for being late , even though he came after 11am every day. That i was going to leave... so without a plan, I left. Me , my emotion, pride and ego.
I was already volunteering at my kids school. So I looked it up and they had a position open. They gave me an interview but didn't give me the position for whatever reason. No hard feelings, I still volunteer there.
After almost 4 years alcohol free. I stepped into my first Alcoholic anonymous meeting . One of the best decisions I have made in a while. I want to use my new platform to first help myself ,then to help others take the first step to sobriety.

I am Still cutting hair at the house with two months left on a two year lease in Eden Prairie, with dreams of one day operation a mobile barbershop namd SHUTTLECUTS.

Thats right!
Looks like a shuttlebus feels like a barbershop. Where will life take us next?
To be continued. ..

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