How the US of A helped me to love myself and helped me finding love
Coming from India, where there are two types of marriages - love and arranged. Almost all of my family members had their spouses picked by their parents. That was the norm. I somehow dint feel it right when I was growing up, but there was no concept of dating at all. Well, I dint knew what dating was.
I then go to the United States to pursue my masters and things started to change slowly. I realized that I am much more, coming from a society where there is no individualism. I learnt to appreciate myself. During the first year, I did not have much money so I had to share my room with 4 other people. It was 14 people in a 2 bedroom apartment. I was however exposed to the american culture from time to time. Hollywood definitely played a big part and I realized, hmm I should go out and put myself in situations where I experience true american culture.
Once I got a job and started making money, where I could have some privacy I started dating. It is a very spiritual process. I got to know what my strengths and weaknesses are. I got to know how some of my belief's were totally wrong. I improved myself as a man. I learned not to take myself seriously and this drastically changed my perspective on life. I was tying happiness to other people, other things until that point. But I realized happiness is within me.
Did I make mistakes? Yes. At first all of my dating was casual and I realized how I was wasting the other person's time and mine. I felt terrible and decided I would never lead on a girl unless I am really really interested in her. I then dated some other girls however none of them progressed to a real relationship except one, where I had to break up as I realized that she was not into travel as much as I am and she cared more about religion.
I am currently in love with this amazing girl and this is the best relationship I had so far. I now want to make this the last relationship as I proposed to her this March 2018, when she came to visit me in Bangkok, Thailand and will soon be tying the knot. We met each other at the right time, when both of us were prepared and knew what we wanted.
When I look back I see that we need to be congruent with our beliefs and values and listen to our heart. It always knows what is right. And the environment that you surround yourself with plays a huge part. I owe it to the US to be the person who I am today.
I am currently in India, and people who used to make fun of me, or people who just used to neglect me. They find me as this interesting, charismatic person. I love it, but I do not give much weightage to their feelings, but I just do what I have to do at that particular moment to make me happy