Recently, I've been getting more emails,whatsapp messages. I've also read a lot of comments from girls saying "there are no rules to keep a man". Baby girl, everything in life has rules; it's only when you break them that you get to bear the consequences.

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There are men and there are boys, so it's better you know the one you want to deal with or the one you are dealing with before you start to conclude. You can keep a man but you can't keep the one that has chosen to be a boy, but keep in mind that you are what you allure.

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Let us begin with you first. Do you love yourself ? People will love you exactly the way you love yourself and will treat you the way you treat yourself or will treat you the way you show them to treat you. I remember one guy that loved me so much and wanted to get intimate simply because of the way I love and appreciate myself.

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There's always a positive attraction that comes from great self-love.

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If you're desperate for a man, you'll allure boys who will give you all the promises in the world, get into your pants and move to the next girl and you become heartbroken.

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Well by now you should know that everything I write has a touch of my personal life experience hence the name "Mirabel's Diary", so let's get started on rules about men and relationships:

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YOU WILL ALLURE WHAT YOU ARE

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Your way of life ascertain what man comes your way.

If your only idea of fun is being out every night, then you should be ready to get a man that equally loves that, otherwise there will be problems with every other guy you meet, unless you both are willing to work it out.

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DESPERATION

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Desperation is what pushes you into the arms of the wrong man and you will start to do things that you're not supposed to do, you get pregnant for him because you believe it will keep him, you wash all his clothes, cook for him, clean his house, be a good housewife, get close to all his friends and family, so they can accept you. Hmm, that is distasteful for a confident man and you will finally keep doing those things while he marries someone else.

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NO TIME FOR YOURSELF

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Do/Did you devote all your life to a man? Too much of everything is bad. Sweetheart, discover yourself first and work on yourself. I know girls that can not ven stay alone for a second, they are always bored and they want to hang out. Where's the time you need to work on yourself? Love yourself? Confident men love busy women Find something to do, even if it's a hobby. Then when you keep on doing what you like, it will become a job. I remember when I finally embraced writing, most people were asking me "Mirabel, when are you gonna get a job?" I told them that Writing is my job, and they said "No, it's your hobby". I just smiled, even though I was deeply sad and depressed, but I continued. Now, look how far I've gotten and I've even written for magazines now, got nominated for an award sometime last year, though I couldn't attend, but there was a recognition! so start getting yourself busy with what you're good at.

A confident man stays connected to you when he knows you need him, but you can still do without him.. forget feminists that tell you that you don't need a man. We all need each other's help.

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STOP PLAYING A MAN'S ROLE

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This is one recipe for losing a man, and that is playing his role. Even if he finally marries you, it's out of guilt, because he feels he owes you. When you start spending on a man, shelter him, buy him all the things in the world, pamper him, feed him, YOU ARE DEPRIVING HIM. Let a man be a man! It is ok to give, buy him gifts once in a while, but never encourage laziness nor comfortableness! Allow him to hustle! He's a man! If you spend all that money on him, he gonna find a woman to spend on too, so he can feel like a man, and when that woman finally gives him reasons to hustle, he does and ends up marrying her, you start crying that he's wicked.

Save your money if you don't know what to do with it!

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CHARACTER

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I keep saying that even if you weren't raised properly by your parents, you're smart enough to know what is right and what id wrong! My mum overpampered me that if I had not decided to raise myself to the woman I want to be, I would have been totally spoilt in a bad way by now. Good character keeps a confident man. Listen, insults don't mean you're strong! It means you're weak, that's why you see most girls raising insults when you have a misunderstanding or an argument with them. Be soft, not weak. Politely state things you are not comfortable with. Don't expect him to read your mind. That is one of the reason domestic violence occur but a man that knows better than beating a woman, will walk away from you to a smarter girl.

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BE CONFIDENT ENOUGH TO BE YOURSELF

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Confidence in yourself, things you like, your dreams, and plans to achieve them. Learn to express yourself exactly the way you feel, and be polite about it. State clearly the things you don't like/not ok with. Don't hide your emotions because you want to be seen as a very happy person all the time. We get sad one or two times; it's natural and you are human. There is no need trying to be Miss Perfect even the man you're trying to please ain't perfect.

A man will appreciate you when he knows when you're angry and when you're happy, because he knows who he's dealing with. But, if you always showing your teeth, you may start coming off as a pretender. Please be real about it, don't be angry if you're not angry! And don't fake happiness if you ain't. Be Honest and be Real. Let your emotions show, but take control of it.

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PRAY FOR YOUR MAN

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Do not compare your man with another person, be his peace,stop nagging about the things he's not getting right. If you feel that he is not doing enough and you can not correct him or cope with it, then be with someone else, because if you keep nagging, you'll drive him into the arms of another woman that gives him peace.

Know who's worth your efforts because if you practise all these on a oy, he will still be chasing anything that has a pussy, because he doesn't know what he wants! Most importantly, don't forget you are what you allure, and also allow your man have his space.

Thanks for reading. Remember to share thoughts in the comment box below.

Images are from Pixabay

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