WHY I CHOSE LOVE.., WHY WE ALL SHOULD...
A few years ago… Maybe more than a few, actually -- I had, the all to taken for granted.., opportunity to fall in love. It presented itself, directly to me… I mean, it might as well, have said -- Hey Mack, this is Love.., you want it..? And I dove head first, without the slightest hesitation…
And I loved.., with every part of my very being -- every cell I owned.
I didn't even think about it -- I guess, that is one of the many splendid qualities true love possesses… The lack of thought. Yes, not having to think about it -- just doing, instinctually. Because somewhere, buried inside all of us.., is this thing we call a heart.
Something, we as a society, rarely talk about… And it is capable of giving and receiving as much love, as you can muster. You don't hear to much about the heart and it's endless capabilities on the evening news or in your Facebook feed. It's all but, been forgotten in todays fast moving societies.
Until, it smacks you in the face… But no matter how deep in throes of it you are… The rest of the world around you may not be on the same page.
They look.., and see -- but as opposed to just acting… They are thinking. They are thinking in overdrive. "What the hell is he doing?" "That bitch is crazy." "She'll ruin his life." "He has such a promising career." I could go on and on -- it's endless… They're stuck in there head. They are thinking way too much…
We've all been there… Im not judging. I've been there, myself. But what love has to offer us all.., if we let it. If we just get out of our own way… Is a vacation from the mind, so to speak. A break from the mundane. And if you are willing -- the ride of your life!
The love Im speaking of, specifically.., was a beautiful blonde woman I met, by sheer accident… One of those truly serendipitous moments, that can change your life -- if you are willing to jump. And boy, did we jump. We fell hard, the both of us… FIREWORKS kind of stuff!
But then, there's that thing called life… And, it has a "funny" way of.., getting in the way. You see, she was already taken -- married, with a little girl. It was a bad marriage, but a marriage.., none the less. I was devastated -- crushed. I didn't want to let go. Neither did she… But, I loved her so much.., I could not put her relationship with her amazing little girl in jeopardy. So I walked away. Completely destroyed.
Little did I know.., she was suffering just as much as me… Bad marriages, can be one of the most unhealthy things I can think of… They will take there tol on the strongest of us. And they have no mercy. For her, it manifested in a wild drug addiction -- coke, crack, GHB, heroin.., and all kinds of painkillers - opiates.
I was completely unaware of any of this… Until, one night.., two years after we walked away from each other… My phone would ring -- it was Christmas eve… And Christmas in Los Angeles is kinda weird, for a New Yorker, at least… It was late and I had planned on driving out to an ashram the next day.., and spend my Christmas meditating, with the few Gurus that hadn't gone to visit their families…
And then, I heard the voice, that made my heart dance… The one I hadn't heard, for far too long -- Hey, it's Sarah… I think I need to go to the hospital -- I took too many pills. My heart stopped -- literally stopped. I was frozen, for what felt like an eternity -- and then I hung-up, jumped in my car, blew every light on Sunset blvd...
We spent Christmas morning in Cedars Sinai Emergency… And then, I had to call some Hollywood type (donates lots of money to the hospital), to get her out of there -- they wanted to lock her up in the psyche ward. My alternative doctor, told me to get her the hell out of there -- nobody gets healed in those institutions…
I would spend the next couple of months getting her off of every drug on the planet. All kinds of holistic methods, and such… Lots of yoga and meditation. Even though, it was the craziest time in my life… I was happy, just keeping her alive. Just being with her... I didn't think about. It just was, what it was -- I was in love. And when you are really in love.., I mean REALLY in love -- you don't think about it.
It's funny… The two parts of the brain that are affected by love.., are the same parts that are affected by drug addiction!
It rarely works out.., love -- I mean, there are all kinds of statistics about the rate of divorce or less and less people getting married. Horrible TV shows of love not succeeding or the latest breaking news stories of love gone bad. There are all kinds of reasons.., all around us, to avoid it at all costs -- because in the end… It will hurt.
But the "magic" of true love… Makes all those "things" disappear. They never even enter your mind -- why… Wait for it… YOU'RE NOT THINKING ABOUT IT!!! You have chosen to love, to give and receive unconditional love.., all without thinking about it. And when you recognize that, it will reward you, beyond all your wildest expectations … You will smile -- all the time. Things, little things, big things -- start to go your way. The stars shine brighter and the sunsets are never more vivid. The universe has recognized your courage.., and you are rewarded.
Love is a thing of beauty, my friends… It opens our eyes to the beauty in everything around us. And, it is such a shame, we don't talk about it more… I for one, would not have traded it for, anything. As it is priceless. Watching your lover fall asleep, with that cute little smile, (the corners of her mouth tilted so slightly) -- only she possesses. Or how she touches you, so gently, on your cheek, before she kisses you, goodnight. Are things with no price-tag… You can't buy them. They are not for sale.
Only by diving in -- head first… No fear. You earn them. Is the only way.
And when it ends… It hurts. Its hurts like hell. Like nothing you could have ever imagined… It will shake you to your core. Your very being, itself.., can feel shattered beyond repair. But, as time goes by… And you learn again, to stop thinking… You can feel that love -- all that love.., right there where it always was -- buried deep inside your heart.., just waiting for the opportunity to shine again.
And, if by chance.., you get the opportunity to love… Take it. Why? Because, it feels damn good!