The self-cultivation of the lose
In love affairs, self-confidence is always the most important thing.
The reason why the name is "Self-cultivation of losers", firstly, from the marketing point of view, this kind of name will make the readers more interested.
The second is for people who are often fr
ustrated on the road to love, and I hope that this book will inspire them.
We hope that this book will inspire them.
Many studies on the market are hyped, or imagined, the most typical is a few years ago
The most typical is the "success science", and according to my observation, "pick-up science" (author's note: the study of picking up girls skills) actually
There is also this problem. The reason is that all pickup techniques have "conditions".
For example, the emphasis on pride and fun method, but in fact, a loser pride and fun is ten
The fact that a loser is proud and funny is very attractive to girls, only a rich and handsome proud and funny, is the right, therefore, whether you are proud
It does not matter whether you are proud and funny, the key is that you are a loser or a rich and handsome.
Therefore, skills, tricks most of the time is just a lubricant or tool to enable you and the other party
The process of getting to know each other a little smoother, but in addition, you and the girl's relationship process can not rely on skills throughout
The process of interaction between men and women is not a science, but an art. Therefore, any attempt to use logical
The problem is that any attempt to use logical thinking to crack the relationship between men and women is futile.
According to the author's observation, many people have the need to learn pick-up skills, the reason is often in love
The reason why many people have the need to learn pickup skills is often because they have had frustrating experiences in relationships. But their problem is often not a lack of skills, more is actually a lack of self
The reason for this is that the people who are in love are often frustrated. For example, when you meet a girl you like, your mind goes blank; when you are with a girl, you often have no idea what to do.
I do not know what to do; with each other on a date often worry about saying the wrong thing to make the heart upset... The cause
The reasons for these problems are many, but they are often the result of a lack of self-confidence and dominance in a relationship.
The reason for these problems is many.
The lack of confidence is not caused by a day or two, but more from the accumulation of long-term.
For example, if you come from a poor mountain village, in front of the rich white woman from the city, of course, easy to have no self-confidence.
confidence. Those parents who are too controlling, like to arrange everything for you, so that you listen to them, but also easy to
Make you become a person who can not get ideas or even lazy to get ideas. There are also some friends who are too strong
The most important thing is that they are with you is to suppress you in order to support their own position. And the one who hurts you the most and causes permanent trauma to your
The one who has caused permanent trauma to your relationship is the one you have loved for many years, but has thrown your self-esteem on the ground.
The goddess who stepped on you...
These factors can seriously affect a person's self-confidence, we often say that a person who has experienced a certain failure
After a failure is like a "deflated ball". Most of the losers are in this state, some of them are originally
The most important thing is that they are "full of gas", but after a certain setback they are "deflated". Some of them are from childhood to adulthood
The feedback they receive from the outside world is always "you are useless", "you are useless" and so on, which may
This may come from the family, but also from the accumulation of repeated failures in dealing with many other things, so it has become
The "losers" like to run away from problems and lose their enterprising mentality.
This book takes stock of some of the characteristics of losers and gives suggestions for transformation, which do not require much effort on the part of the reader.
These suggestions do not require too much effort from the reader, but just tell many people who have been shot what your real problems are and how to solve them.
I will recommend some books worth reading and some effective training methods, but my advice is that your own problems, and how to solve them.
I would recommend some books worth reading and some effective training methods, but my advice is, your own problems, the best way to solve by yourselves, learn to solve problems by themselves, to overcome difficulties, is to say goodbye to the loser.
Overcoming difficulties is the first step to say goodbye to your career as a loser.
Some of the hard wounds of losers.
- mental depression (prone to insomnia)
2, indecisive
3, dependence on strong
4, lazy, lack of action (procrastination)
5, the bottom line is low, easy to compromise, poor stress tolerance
6、 Geeky
7, fear of failure than the desire to succeed
8, the problem is used to escape
9、 Lack of wildness
The losers will be insecure and tend to seek help from the outside world because of these shortcomings in dealing with daily affairs.
This is a lack of self-confidence. This lack of self-confidence aura is most likely to make women do not feel. Women
people have evolved over thousands of years, just as men have a natural reaction to a fat ass. Women are interested in
confident, strong inner male also has a natural reaction, if you are a confident man, they
If you are a confident man, they will "feel" you at first sight. The goal of this book is for you to move forward with the goal of becoming a confident male.
The goal of this book is for you to move forward with the goal of becoming a confident man.
It seems that all books need an acknowledgement in the foreword, but we haven't thought of anyone to acknowledge here.
If we want to thank you, then thank you to fly, Vinci, randy999, uibe545 and so on after the training has very good results
We would like to thank all the students who have had good results after the training, because your growth and changes have given us great confidence.
I would like to thank you all for your growth and change, which gave us great confidence, and also thank you for your support and help.
I would not have been able to maintain self-doubt when I had that confidence, and not let it turn into conceit once it was inflated. All in all, thanks to those who keep us
In short, thanks to those who keep our heads clear, so that we do not get discouraged when we lose and do not forget when we gain.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1: Core Confidence
1、The Matthew effect
2、About "separate mind"
- Ignoring the results
4、Objective self-confidence
Chapter 2: Keeping the spirit of abundance
1、Energy
2、Transfer of energy - micro-communication
3、Energy activation, increment and decline
4、How to practice activating energy
5、How to maintain the growth of energy
6、How to increase the maximum value of the energy tank
Chapter 3: Strengthening the dominant consciousness
1、Mitis ability
2、The purpose of learning is "enlightenment"
3、The best way to learn is to "teach"
4、Independent thinking: get rid of conceit, compulsion and control
5、Love does not need a guide
Chapter 4: Why women love you
1、The poor get poorer, the rich get richer
2, why you will "love impotent"
3, women will never fall in love with you just because you have money
4, love should be open and honest
5, maintain consistency
Chapter 5: Enhance the power of action
1, anti-thinking: many things you only know after doing
2, human thinking, God is laughing
3, anti-persistence: learn to use the sunk cost and the law of inertia
4、If the heart is not still, the will is not strong
5、Find the person who makes you shine and shine
Written in the end: some suggestions
Chapter 1: Core Confidence
1、The Matthew effect
Before talking about the topic of self-confidence, we need to talk about the Matthew effect, which is simply summarized as "the poor
The poor get poorer, the rich get richer", the reason why this is so is because the more we want something the less we can get, the more
The more things we don't want, the more they come to our door. The Chinese often say, "If you have the intention to plant a flower, you can't get it, but if you don't want it, it will come to you.
This is actually the truth. In fact, in our daily life, the Matthew effect is effective because
In fact, in our daily life, the Matthew effect is effective, very often because of the "virtuous circle" and "vicious circle", which leads to this cycle
80% of the world's quality resources are always in the hands of 20% of the people, whether it is money or women.
The reason for this is that 80% of the world's resources are always in the hands of 20% of the people, whether it is money or women.
This is so because 80% of people are limited by their own desires in many things, and a person
Once a person has a certain desire, his behavior pattern will be unconsciously disturbed by the emotions generated by the desire, and this
This interference often makes people do the wrong thing at the wrong time, for example, a person who has the intention to plant flowers, may
For example, if a person wants to plant flowers, he or she may be impatient to get the flowers to bloom sooner, and then he or she may apply too much fertilizer because of this impatient state of mind, resulting in
The flower that could have bloomed wilted prematurely because of this impatience and the application of too much fertilizer. Or he may be afraid that the flowers will not bloom and
Do not dare to fertilize the flowers, the result is that the flowers do not bloom ... This kind of mentality can be seen everywhere, including
including the race, the casino, the love affair... So, the point of our ancestors' emphasis on
Therefore, the meaning of our ancestors' emphasis on "little desire" is that we should keep a clear mind and not be confused by our inner desires.
The emphasis on "inaction" does not mean that we should not do anything, but that we should act in accordance with the laws of nature without interference.
Therefore, in many cases, no matter what we do, the primary problem is the control of the mind.
In philosophy, there is a view that the development of things is driven by internal contradictions, and we have
We have a certain desire to produce action, and with action, the result of action will occur. And for our
The brain often makes a "good" or "bad" judgment about our actions based on the effect of the action on the outcome.
If the result is judged to be "good", then we are motivated, excited, confident, and have a more flexible mind.
If the result is "good", we are motivated, excited, confident, and more flexible, and more likely to make the right decision. If the result is "bad", then we feel frustrated and restless.
will feel frustrated, restless, fearful, lose confidence, and thus make the wrong decision.
Therefore, no matter what we do, the control of our mindset should be in the first place, which is often referred to as
"mental quality", which is also a criterion to determine whether a person is mature.
Doing the cultivation of the mind requires long-term learning and exercise, and once acquired, nothing can be done. No matter
It is to pick up girls, or other. I emphasize here that people have different perceptions, and I do not guarantee that everyone will be able to learn
But at least in the six months of my training, there are two students who have grown significantly, they do not belong to the type of enlightenment
They do not belong to the type of good enlightenment, but undeniably they are very diligent.
- About Separate Minds
Here I would like to talk about the concept of "separate mind".
The following content is partly borrowed from "The Inner Game of Tennis", I would like to provide the title of the book directly to recommend you to
But since you have read my book, I will tell you about this concept in my own way in the book.
Interested parties can also go online and search for downloads.
We all have two "I's" in our brains, one of which is the "I" that makes judgments about our own behavior.
One of the "I" is the "I" that makes judgments about the good and bad of various actions and produces emotions, which is called "I1" here, and the other "I" is the "I" that acts.
The other "I" is the unconscious "I" of action, which is called "I2" here.
For example, if "I2" is talking to a girl and she doesn't respond very well, then "I1" will
start to judge, criticize and deny "I2", think "I2" is really very 2, so, "I2" in action will
2" will start to be affected by the negativity of "I1" and be afraid of messing up, thus limiting their own performance.
This limits the ability to play.
We often see this in sports, for example, in a soccer game where a player takes a single shot but fails to take the opportunity to score.
For example, players who failed to take the opportunity to break through in the soccer game, most of them will not be able to perform in the next single cut in the same game.
In their hearts, they will definitely say the same thing - how can I be so useless. Then in
The next time they get the ball, they will be concerned about the last failure, which leads to play out of order and miss the opportunity.
Of course, we can also look at those players who occasionally play superbly, they may have a game in a row
The first goal is often very smooth and beautiful. In this way, "I1"
would say to "I2", "Well done. "I 2" was encouraged at this point, so he was more recklessly
So in the later games, often "I 2" is not disturbed by "I 1", play more
If you like soccer, look at the four goals of Ibe at the end of 2012.
If you like football, look at the four goals of Ibe at the end of 2012 to understand this state.
In the process of dealing with women, I believe there are also people who have experienced this, such as "peachy"
This is what happens, there is a time when you get a good girl by chance, and then you feel that you can talk to any woman.
I feel that any woman you can chat with special HI, no matter what you say those women can be captured, but
If you invest a lot in a girl but always frustrated, the same will feel that no matter what woman to you
say are like a steel plate, what she said you have to think about half a day how to return, do everything will be afraid to get
negative feedback.
If you have studied the Tao Te Ching, you should know the meaning of "no self", this "no self" is
The state of "I1" is the state of no "I1", and the scientific name of "I1" is the separate mind.
With the elimination of the separate mind, one enters a state of unhindered "freedom".
- Ignore the result
OK, now you know the concept of "separate mind", so to destroy the separate mind, please keep the most basic
Now that you know the concept of "separate mind," then to eliminate the separate mind, please keep the most basic rule of mind in mind - let go of success or failure and enjoy the process with all your heart.
When a Japanese samurai practices samurai meditation, he needs to practice another practice at the same time - letting go of life and death.
This is called the "realm of practice" (author's note: from "The Art of Archery and Zen Mind").
In ancient Japan, the exercise of a samurai's courage often required that he or she
In ancient Japan, the purpose of exercising a samurai's courage was to take the young samurai to see the execution site, or to sleep in the cemetery all year round, in order to
Let the samurai overcome the fear of death, in order to inspire the best when fighting - in the battlefield, only
Only those who are not afraid of death can survive.
Welcome Blade told me a story about how he used to go to bars with some technical PUAs (girl-getters) who knew a lot of things.
They know a lot of words, practices and techniques, and they often exchange ideas together about what kind of women they should deal with.
They knew a lot of tactics, conventions and techniques, and often exchanged ideas on how to deal with the kind of women they met. However, once the first woman they pick up at the bar doesn't respond well to
the first woman they pick up at the bar doesn't respond well to them, or when their tactics, conventions and techniques don't work at the bar, they fall into a
they get into a state of bewilderment at the bar - because of the frustration, they become
afraid of being rejected again, and "I2" starts to 2 up.
I believe this feeling, not only in the bar, most people in the process of dating girls will be
I believe this feeling is not only in bars, most people in the process of dating girls will appear this situation. After a person encounters this frustration, most will produce a state of emotional depression, and this
Once this low continues, the internal pressure will continue to increase, and finally lead to depressed mood, self-confidence loss, the word negative written in his
Lost, negative two words written on his face, and finally transformed into an ultimate aura - rub.
So, whether it is with women or do other things, please first put down success or failure, put the attention
Focus on the action itself, try to avoid making negative judgments and comments on the action of the moment in the process of action
Because you have done, good or bad are already in the past tense, your low, frustration, fear, self
Your low, frustration, fear, self-blame and anger can not change this fact, but only make your next action worse and worse, one after another
The next action will only get worse and worse, one after another, and then fall into an even worse state of mind, yes, that's why the Matthew effect works. More importantly
What's more, the aura mapped out by this mentality will make everyone (including yourself) feel like a fool
The aura mapped out by this mentality will make everyone (including yourself) think you look like a dumbass, making your charisma value infinitely less.
What natural flow can do for you is to get you out of this state of mind and into a vibrant and exciting
The natural flow can help you get out of this state of mind and into a vibrant and exciting "open state". This state is completely different from the state we usually live in.
This state is completely different from our normal life state. For example, when we are in a mediocre state, the interaction with girls is just talking about some very ordinary
The heart does not have any special feelings, but more or less will still have some care for each other's views on their
The way. But once you enter this "open state", there will be a feeling of forgetfulness, dare to say anything, and dare to do anything.
Say anything, do anything, and whatever you say and do is right.
Take going to a bar as an example, when we are not in a state, we will feel that it is a difficult thing to talk to a girl.
very difficult thing. But as soon as you enter the "open state", any girl passing by can directly put her
pull over to dance, and she will certainly play with you very HI, this is the magic of the state, you can
This is the magic of the state, you can say, as long as you enter this state, the basic you will have a kind of people blocked kill, Buddha blocked kill the Buddha feeling.
And this state can be found through certain methods, but because of the different qualities of each person, and
Not as long as you know these methods will certainly be able to achieve this "open state".
4, objective self-confidence
First of all, the most important part of self-confidence is objective self-confidence, most of this objective self-confidence from the accumulation of successful experience, let's say
For example, a glass of water on the table, we do not even have to think about it can be
Pick it up, because we have picked up objects similar to it countless times.
Most of the time, we feel nervous, uncomfortable, and stressed about a situation - facing an unsure challenge.
We are facing a challenge that we are not sure of, a challenge that we have met before and failed shamefully (such as chasing a high-scoring girl), or maybe the challenge is a challenge that we are not sure of.
(such as chasing a high-scoring girl), or maybe the challenge is an unprecedented new level (for example, you used to be able to get a 5-6
Now it's a 9-point girl). When faced with such a challenge, of course, we will not be confident, because it is
Like the high jump, we could only jump over 2 meters, but now the height is 4 meters, even if we
Even if we have the ability to cross 4 meters, we will inevitably lack self-confidence when facing such a challenge.
Therefore, to improve our objective confidence, we need to go up step by step. Therefore, during the sharing sessions
I always emphasize one concept when sharing sessions - don't cross the level to fight monsters.
If you have ever played "World of Warcraft", you can appreciate the pain of leveling up.
The experience is high, but the efficiency is very low, and the frustrating experience will also affect your interest in the game - because you need to be in the corpse running for a long time.
Because you need to be in the state of running corpses for a long time, one after another feel annoyed, also on this game has a negative and bored.
The game will also affect your interest in the game - because you need to be in a state of running corpses for a long time, you will feel bored and become depressed and tired of the game.
For other things, including women, our psychology is actually in the same state, a high score
girl, you may have a strong desire to challenge, but this challenge is unprecedented for you.
In this case, your heart will certainly not confident, then this lack of confidence will be reflected through your performance
In this case, you must be unsure of yourself, then this lack of confidence will be reflected through your performance, including dull speech, blank mind... This in turn will feed back to the high score you are seeking
The girl you're looking for is there. The high scoring girls feel your lack of confidence and will give you a frustrating experience because of your lack of confidence.
This frustrating experience will make your self-confidence drop... So several times, the Matthew effect is in effect.
So, before you go looking for a woman, take a good look in the mirror and give up the "toad wanting to eat swan meat" delusion.
delusion, you are in what position, to do what things, do not be some so-called "as long as you follow my way to do
The first thing you need to do is to get a good look at yourself, if you want to get a 9-point girl.
If you want to get a 9 point girl, then first get 8 points, if 8 points can not get, then try 7 points ... and so on.
And so on.
The accumulation of this objective confidence must also meet another condition - to be true to yourself.
If you are a person who likes to pretend, then in reality you are always a person who refuses to accept yourself.
Many people's lack of confidence is not because they have such and such a problem with their character, but because they themselves
Maybe because they are too fat, maybe because they are too ugly, etc... In fact, these are
These are not problems.
If you have seen the movie "Sister Crazy", you can feel the charm of self-confidence, where the female
The main character in our oriental aesthetics can be described by the word "Warcraft", but
But when she sings with enthusiasm and confidence, a different kind of charm is born, and this charm
The power makes people want to approach her.
One must learn to like oneself before one is qualified to be liked by others, and I have asked many people why
I have asked many people, why do you have to pretend to be another person in order to talk to girls? They said, I think the real self is very
worthless. If you think so yourself, then of course others will think so too.
If you want others to think you are strong, first you have to think you are strong, you want others to love you, first you have to love yourself.
You want others to love you, you first have to love yourself, this feel great if you really feel great, not a lot of psychological
What psychology said what psychological suggestion, every morning shouted in the mirror "I am great, yeah!
If I saw this kind of thing, I would be tempted to pick up a cup or something and throw it over, because this kind of behavior
It's just too silly.
Chapter 2: Keeping full of spirit
I once asked a natural good man what kind of man would enchant women, and his answer was: you
It's enough just to be a man they've never seen before.
In other words, you should have distinctive features in front of women to establish in her mind that you are different from
In technical terms, you need to be a man that women have a "memory point
(author's note: recommend the book "positioning"), in layman's terms, that is, you need to have a personality.
So why does a person have a distinct personality, and what supports it? My answer is aura
And a person's aura is supported by his or her personal spiritual energy, so if you want to be a
So if you want to be a charismatic person, the most basic first step is to keep yourself energized.
People who often come to my sharing sessions know that I always give three suggestions every time I open a sharing session
- Go to bed early and get up early. (That's you.)
2, quit jerking off. (Yes, that's you.)
3, go out more face-to-face communication with people, do not always hide behind the computer and cell phone typing.
(Yes, said also ~ ~ ~ is you.)
The reason why the first thing is to advise people to go to bed early and get up early, is taken from the "seven arts of this Jing Yin Fu
The first technique - Sheng Shen. The first thing a person needs to do to enhance his or her ability to cope with the outside world is
is to maintain a high level of energy and spirit.
For example, if you jerk off after 1:30 every day and then go to sleep, you will definitely get up at 8 o'clock the next day and you will
Feel depressed, eyes completely open, can not focus on what to do, and extremely forgetful.
The body resistance also becomes worse, easy to catch a cold, can not raise the spirit, to the end of the day just want to fall into bed.
But once you fall asleep and wake up in the middle of the night will not be able to sleep.
In the long run, the "rub" aura is basically set in your body.
But if you try to go to bed at 11 o'clock every day and get up at 8 o'clock the next day, you will definitely have a completely different experience of life - you will feel like you're in a different place.
You will feel energetic all day long, you will be efficient, you will be able to concentrate, you will be able to speak in a loud voice, you will walk in a different way.
You will feel energetic, efficient, highly focused, speak in a loud voice, walk faster, and feel the exhilaration that full work brings.
The excitement of the work can be felt, and there will be no difficulty in sleeping at night.
Women say that a man who is serious about his work is the most attractive. If you read the above words carefully, the
If you read the above, the enthusiasm and energy that emanates from it is very infectious to people around you, which can also lead others to become emotionally positive.
This is a manifestation of leadership, and this elevated energy can make the brain rev faster and better memory - but
The first thing you should know is that even if you are well rested, you are wasting your life on Twitter and QQ.
But it should be noted that even if you are well rested, but you waste your life on Twitter and QQ, you still can not change the nature of "rubbing".
How to stimulate this enthusiastic and passionate life state? This enthusiasm and passion and how to
How does this enthusiasm and passion infect others? This is the "energy" in our body at work.
1、Energy
Every word, every action, every look has a different energy field, and our mutual
We often communicate with each other according to the specific laws of this energy field.
There are many ways to say energy, such as life force, aura, enthusiasm, will, vitality, energy, passion, etc.
etc... All these can be attributed to energy, in short, whether a person has energy or not, can be clearly felt at the first contact
It can be clearly felt at the first contact. As the old saying goes, "A dignified and extraordinary temperament, without looking at what social status you are in
Position, with you a face to face, I can feel the strong vitality.
Each of us has our own energy, and such energy can be infected and transmitted to each other.
And it is the strength of this energy that determines whether we are confident or not. In the ancient saying, "Use of grace and power", energy belongs to "power".
In the ancient saying, "Enwei and Wei", the energy belongs to the "Wei" part, that is, the angry form of life, and when we listen to Wang Feng's songs, we can feel
When we listen to Wang Feng's songs, we can feel a powerful energy coming from his songs and music, and the aesthetics of artwork is also in the energy itself.
I once asked an international artist how to appreciate the beauty of a piece of artwork, and whether it required professional training.
I once asked an international artist how to appreciate the beauty of a piece of art, do I need to receive professional training, like the Mona Lisa, I can't feel her beauty at all.
You need to see the real painting, the depth of the brush strokes on the real painting often has a strong emotion, when you can feel the
When you can feel the strong emotional impact between the brush strokes, you can feel an amazing beauty, I can't describe it with words.
Words are very difficult to describe to you.
2、Transfer of energy: micro-communication
In contemporary Chinese society, we over-emphasize "wisdom", and usually see a lot of young people cursing on the Internet.
When young people curse people will reflect a certain sense of intellectual superiority, usually either call others stupid or say that other
The math is taught by a gym teacher.
In fact, we are already one of the smartest people in the world, but at the same time, we are also the least creative people in the world.
I can't explain why, but my point is that we put too much emphasis on intellect and rationality and neglect rationality.
I can't explain why, but my point is that we put too much emphasis on intellect and reason and ignore the forces beyond reason.
Let's think back to the songs that move people the most, aren't they all powerful?
For example, Adele's Someone Like U is a strong emotion of loving others.
For example, Adele's Someone Like U, which is a strong emotion of love for others, so it can shock people's hearts and form a "soulful feeling".
Including the kind of slender man and soldier shouting slogans, it is a kind of energy transmission, which makes people uplifted.
A team leader must choose the most energetic person, and most of the time he does not need any
Most of the time, he does not need any special means and skills, but only a strong desire for progress, and the powerful energy he exudes will
The strong energy emanating from it will inspire, follow and be loyal.
Many people ask me, "Why do I always fail at dating? I ask him, "What do you talk to women about on a blind date?
They will say that they talk about their situation, work, background, etc. I say that it is no wonder that you failed.
Because the communication between you is too rational and the things you talk about need to be thought about, so it is easy for both sides to enter a
The interaction between people needs emotional interaction and communication.
It is difficult to make the atmosphere of conversation warm when it is too thoughtful.
My partner, Yingblade, talked about this in class.
He said that when we were together with another friend of ours, Yulian, who is also a sociology instructor, Yulian noticed that he had a problem with
is to speak without emotion, giving people the feeling of cold, which is exactly the problem that most people are not popular with women
--They often communicate with women without emotion, making it difficult to get emotionally close.
In the pick-up school, many people digging to think about the opening, memorize the words and conventions, etc., the woman said each
A sentence, he is thinking of what words to use to suppress, when to suppress, when to praise ... etc.
And so on. Maybe he operated the whole process down without problems, successfully did the attraction to women, let women
trust him, like him, but the problem is that he will eventually find that, in fact, the psychological distance between him and the woman
still very far away, because his rational thinking blocked the natural exchange of feelings, should have given the natural
The natural feedback should have been given through the rational level of processing feedback, despite the mobilization of the other party's emotions, but he will find himself
He finds that he is not actually close to the other person.
This reminds me of a quote from "5 cm per second" - even though I have sent more than 1,000 text messages to him, I know that he is not close to me.
I know that we are not even 1 cm closer to each other psychologically.
One of the things I noticed when I used to go to bars with Yingdian was that it was very difficult to communicate with people in bars.
It was particularly difficult to communicate with people in bars, but every time we could talk to girls, it was actually just two or three sentences, and the reason was more
It's not that we talked to them specifically, but we feel very good when we communicate, and our
The Wifi of our hearts can receive each other's signals, so very often do not need too much language expression, just follow our inner feelings.
We just need to follow our inner feelings. Afterwards, we also communicate with the girls, and they don't
They don't remember exactly what we talked about, but just remember how happy they felt with us.
We call this kind of communication beyond words - micro-communication.
Language is often just a tool for communicating our feelings, and the effective communication between our feelings
The effective communication between our feelings does not depend largely on what we say, but rather on the feelings attached to what we say and do.
The same sentence: "Hello", if you are a warm and generous person, others may give you the same feedback.
The same sentence: "Hello", if you are a warm and generous person, others may give you a better feedback, but if you say Hello when scowling, others to your
The language is always just a tool to convey our message, but does not represent the message itself.
Language is always a tool to convey information, but not the information itself. Because some information can not be expressed in words, especially feelings.
- Activation, increment and decline of energy
The energy here can be directly translated as energy. Using energy and not doing something are two completely different feelings.
different feelings. In the popular saying "don't stay in the comfort zone of your mind", this, in fact, has some truth.
There is some truth to this. Energy, or energy, is the power of our soul, and to activate inspiration, we must be in a
In order to activate inspiration, it must be activated in a state of energy concentration. In that highly concentrated state, it is possible to
Find the state of "forgetting to eat and sleep", only to find this state, it is possible to do a thing to the extreme
Therefore, no matter how to do any business, first sink your heart, in order to long-term. Judging whether a person is mature or not, whether
Reliable, that is, whether it can "sink", the so-called "ideas to sink down, the will to fight out", first
Sink the mind, quiet the mind, in order to activate the energy, why, because we reject other desires in the body
Because we reject other desires in the body, those distracting thoughts interfere with people and make their minds lax, so the ancient Chinese culture, often advocate oligarchy
Therefore, the ancient Chinese culture often advocates the desire, is to keep people focused, the so-called "tranquility and distant" is such a reason, so that a
This is how a person can get a sense of pleasure, which is also the source of one's happiness.
So, how does our energy go down incrementally? This has already been discussed in the discussion of the separate mind.
This has been discussed in the discussion of the separate mind, and I would like to add a little bit about it here.
Our separate mind (i.e., "I1") is actually very susceptible to external influences to measure our own behavior, especially in the context of our love.
Especially in front of people we love or care about, we will feel very happy when they compliment us and do things more
If they praise us, we will feel happy and do things with more passion. If they say one word about us, we may be depressed for days.
So, we do things by their rules and make judgments about the good and bad of each thing.
So, we often have a saying that a person who comes from something will never try to pop out of that
Because his upbringing determines his values, his values determine his fate.
Back to the loser, many people with a loser-type personality, most of them have been suppressed by their parents, teachers, classmates, friends and girlfriends, and they have a lot of problems.
Most of them have been suppressed and hurt by their parents, teachers, classmates, friends and girlfriends, or have had the experience of "failure" in the worldly sense in the process of studying or working.
This frustration, due to the accumulation and amplification of separate minds, gradually makes them think they are useless.
This frustration, due to the accumulation and amplification of separate minds, gradually makes them think that they are useless, so they have very low energy all the time, no motivation, and are self-absorbed.
In fact, from another point of view, most people's "frustration" is not really "frustration", but rather this "frustration" is the result of the "frustration".
But this "frustration" is imposed on them by the outside world, for example, failed in the exams, chasing a girl was rejected
And so on. In fact, from a different perspective, not doing well in an exam actually just means that you are not good at the subject and
It does not mean that you are an incompetent person. The fact that the girl is not pursued, just means that you in this girl
The fact that you're not doing well in front of the girl doesn't mean you're a person without charm.
Of course, you can also think that I am talking about a spiritual victory, but I want to say that, if
If you want to be free from outside influences, do not comment on what is related to you, just think he happened
Just do it. And do not care what others say, this do not care means that you can moderately listen to others
This does not care means that you can moderately listen to the mistakes of others, but do not have to be emotionally affected by what others say.
In fact, no one is qualified to evaluate a living you, the Chinese have an idiom called "Gai Coffin
No matter how many things he did wrong, as long as he does not lose the will to fight, there is a chance to mend the fold, this "will", but also
This "fighting spirit" can also be understood as a kind of "energy".
4、How to practice activating energy
My training method is: meditation and action. If a person can sit in meditation until no thoughts come to his mind
If a person can sit in meditation without any thoughts in his mind, then he is a person who can activate energy at any time.
The main function of this meditation is to cleanse the inner dust and prepare the energy for what is to be done.
energetic preparation. If this step is done, then the mind is sunken, and only then can one do something, otherwise
Otherwise, what is done must be very lacking in cleanliness and neatness. But this practice requires persistence, not
It can't be done in a day or two. The immediate action, you can say that these gathered energy immediately to the appropriate
So the quality will be very high.
- How to maintain energy growth
Three words, give up, which is also the Buddhist culture: surrender. As long as a person can do one thing
to do to give up everything, everything is open to the state, then in doing this thing, his state must
is more and more Hi, posture must be more and more free, the courage must be more and more large, many things
People do not do well, not because the energy is not enough, but because they can not let go of too many things, suffering from loss.
It is these things that cannot be put aside that block the growth of energy.
Any bondage starts from within.
6、How to increase the maximum energy tank
Regular work and rest, normal meals for one, concentration is the second, asceticism is the third, why in yoga
There are many ascetics, the reason why these people do this is to sharpen their will, and the use of willpower is extremely
For the consumption of energy, but willpower is the same as muscle, if often exercise, can be more developed than the original, so
It is often said that men, to be tough on themselves. This is not an empty phrase, we often find those who want to face
We often find that those who want to face, encounter things to hold up men are more likely to succeed, the reason is because their willpower is often because
Long years of "fattening up" to get exercise, so their energy tank longer than others, of course, will do things
This is also an important criterion for judging whether a person can succeed.
Therefore, I used to share three suggestions with my friends who came to listen to my sharing sessions.
The first one is to go to bed early and get up early, the second one is to quit evil sex, and the third one is to use computers and cell phones less to interact with people and more to interact with people face to face.
These are all ways to grow one's energy. The core of many people's problem is not a lack of picking up girls
The core of the problem of many people is not a lack of methods and skills to pick up women, but you look very decrepit and unhinged, a little manly
The spirit is not, how will women like?
Chapter 3: Strengthening the sense of dominance
1、Mittis ability
All people who have great merits in the world have an ability - Mittis ability. The following
The content is partly taken from "Common Sense in Business".
The first famous captain in the history of human civilization - Odysseus, the hero of Homer's Odyssey.
Odysseus. He was teased by the gods on his way home from an expedition and spent ten years at sea before finally finding
He found his way home.
The ancient Greeks praised Odysseus not only for his bravery, but also for his inexhaustible metis
(metis). His metis was used both to design the Trojan horse, to trick the witch Circe, the Cyclops
Cyclops, or tying himself to a mast to avoid the song of the siren Sirens, but also to unite his
The man of the people united, improvised from one predicament to another, outwitting those who are more powerful than him
The siren's song also includes uniting one's own people, improvising from one predicament to another, and outwitting those who are stronger than him, whether gods or men.
In English, "mittis" was later translated as "cunning intelligence," "practical skill," and "know-how.
"Know-How," which is essentially the ability to successfully adapt to changing circumstances and to quickly
comprehend and find solutions.
In my opinion, this ability is one of the things that the great "captains of the ship" (entrepreneurs in the modern sense) have.
Entrepreneur) have one of the most critical differences. And those who seem to have a better family background, a more charismatic image, and a single condition.
more charismatic, single-minded and experienced, and comfortable in conventional routes are usually more likely to win the hearts and minds of investors.
But the results are not satisfactory. Why is that?
All human activities require a degree of "mittens" skills, but some activities require even more, such as sailing and entrepreneurship.
Some activities require more than others, such as sailing and entrepreneurship. The need to adapt to the vagaries of reality, to influence the behavior of partners, customers and
The navigator has to adapt to the vagaries of reality, to influence the behavior of partners, customers and opponents to achieve his or her goals. A navigator adapts to the wind, waves and reefs, but cannot directly
They need to adapt to the winds, waves and reefs, but not to influence them directly; entrepreneurs are always in constant interaction with their opponents. They need to react quickly and
They need to react quickly and quickly to unexpected events and use limited resources to create the best possible outcome.
In fact, the most critical skills in entrepreneurship are non-standardized, not easily verbalized and empirical
The truth is that the most critical skills in entrepreneurship are non-standardized, not easily communicated or experienced. It's the same with driving and cooking, it's useless to memorize traffic rules and recipes.
You can only learn to drive through repeated practice, gaining hand-eye coordination and the ability to "read" the timing and make the right decision.
Only through practice can you "feel" the balance and make it automatically. A good coach will only
At a few key points, such as when to apply the brakes.
We often find that some people have a good business sense, and this business sense is "Mittens". Some
Some people can always acquire and master the key points of the required skills faster than others. This may be innate. But the best practitioners like Odysseus
The best practitioners, like Odysseus, must have accumulated experience in many different conditions over time. If your
life depends on your boat surviving bad weather, then you want an experienced skipper, not one who can
If your life depends on your ship surviving bad weather, you want an experienced captain, not an oceanographer who can analyze the laws of ocean currents but has never taken the helm.
The reason why "Mittens" is so important for entrepreneurs is that the world they face is a non-standardized one.
is a non-standardized world, a route that no one has ever taken and no way to verify it, much less follow the same
rules.
The Magellan fleet was forced to camp in uninhabited St. Julian's Bay for an entire winter because of grossly incorrect charts.
for an entire winter. It took 100 days of drifting in the endless Pacific Ocean to see land. He personally disposed of the
Spanish captain's rebellion, and kept going even after finding the fleet half lost.
Before Zuckerberg made Facebooke, Friendster and Myspace had blossomed everywhere, but Mark
K firmly rooted in the campus and opened one by one. He always insisted on maximizing user benefits before revenue
He always insisted on maximizing user benefits before revenue growth. He resisted the embroidery balls thrown by Viacom, Yahoo, Microsoft and other giants one by one. As long as the third
As long as third-party applications do better than themselves, they boldly open up their platform resources to third parties to do so. This young man's
Many practices, completely contrary to those things taught in business schools.
Why can't entrepreneurship be learned in MBA class? Because all the contents of the textbook are only about
The textbook is only a regularized summary of the existing business world. Why after reading all the biographies of successful entrepreneurs, you will find yourself
you still don't understand entrepreneurship? Because what they have written does not represent the whole of what their brains know, but only a small part of it.
They are only a small part of what they can simplify and show.
Understanding how and when to apply, and even break, these rules of thumb in life-and-death situations is what Mistry is all about.
The essence of Mistry is to understand how and when to apply and even break these rules of thumb in life-and-death situations.
A business school professor can only teach standardized knowledge, but as far as entrepreneurship is concerned, he is probably no better than a high school dropout.
A business school professor can only teach standardized knowledge, and as far as entrepreneurship is concerned, he is probably no better than a high school dropout. In Silicon Valley, serial entrepreneurs are always in demand.
He has a 66% success rate in investing in serial entrepreneurs. What's the reason? New
The more drivers drive, the bolder they get, and the more veteran drivers drive, the less bolder they get.
The real "captain of the ship", need to grow a decision tree in the mind - if it grows here.
We will go in this direction. And if it is extinct here, we will go the other way. In other words
In other words, it's all about making "Mittens" a subconscious instinct.
The competition in business is so brutal. It started before you and will not end after you, trying to master
everything that has happened and know exactly what is going to happen in the future is simply not possible. So, in this
changing, uncertain, and special contexts, it is in these that Mittens is most valuable.
A real man, on the chart of life, gives himself goals, and regardless of whether the direction is
right, he always finds a way to reach his goal, and if you want to become such a man, or exercise
If you want to become such a man, or exercise the ability to do so, you should try as much as possible, day by day, you can always develop a random response
If you follow the footsteps of others mechanically and follow the teachings of others, then your role in this world will always be a
If you follow the footsteps of others mechanically and follow their teachings, then your role in this world will always be a pawn at the mercy of others.
2、The purpose of learning is "enlightenment"
Now let's talk about the problem of learning.
Traditional learning is mostly a top-down indoctrination, and learners are mostly defined as "followers".
The instructor is also in a strong position, asking the learners to follow his or her own methods.
In the end, the learners end up with the results that the instructor wants, not the results that the learners themselves want.
The result is not the result the learners want.
From the mentor's perspective, what I should do is to guide the learners to think and act on their own initiative, because I
I understand that a lot of knowledge is not imparted, but in the word "enlightenment", which often requires
The word "enlightenment" often requires the students to have physical experience and action to achieve a qualitative leap, of course, even if they can not understand, they can still learn
Of course, even if they can't, they can still learn some knowledge points, and the money will not be spent in vain. Therefore, my training courses are only worthwhile and do not make
It is also proven that many people do think my courses are very good.
My direction is also not to teach people how to get girls, but to let people come to the course as much as possible to find
their own values and open up a path they have never heard of for self-improvement and growth.
The course is also defined as self-growth and emotional intelligence training. And now, some people have been promoted after the course, some have
found girlfriends, some got cured of depression... I can't guarantee that they all got these results because of my course.
I can't guarantee that they all got these results because of my course. Anyway, although they took my course because they wanted to learn how to get girls, they got a lot of results they didn't expect before.
I never expected that they would get a lot of things that they didn't want to get before.
So, what kind of person grows faster in themselves? My answer is that a person with a sense of ownership
The answer is that a person with a sense of ownership learns more quickly because they know where they are going and what they want to gain, so they absorb everything they can on the way forward.
They know where they want to go and what they want to get, so they absorb everything they can on the way forward, just like a sponge. So, there are many
Many people ask me, I want to improve, there is nothing to read, I replied, reading books is useless, the key is
The key is to understand why you want to improve, you know the reason why you want to improve, you will naturally know where you should
To where, at that time, you can come back to ask me may be better.
3, the best way to learn is to "teach"
I have never been a teacher of others before, but came out to do training, but gained a personal aspect of leaps and bounds
In the process of teaching others, I did not deliberately summarize the knowledge points and sort out the theoretical framework.
In the process of teaching others, I did not deliberately summarize the knowledge points and sort out the theoretical framework, but often just played casually, however, it is this process, I can say that my personal improvement than
However, in this process, my personal improvement can be said to be greater and faster than that of any student who comes to class.
Because I have to teach people, I have to practice and practice a lot of things myself. I have to practice and practice a lot of things myself because I have to teach people, and I have to digest some of the book knowledge through action so that I can teach others with clearer ideas, and more importantly, I In the process of teaching others, there is a process of guidance and communication, which is also very helpful to increase my own leadership. It is not like traditional learning, where I follow what others say. The way of thinking is not one's own, but follows the footsteps of others, and in many places one needs to be limited. Therefore, if a person wants to understand and master a certain field of knowledge in the fastest and most complete and deepest way, the best way is to teach others. The best way is to teach others, because if a thing you have not figured out, you are afraid to teach others, and in you If you have to teach people, you will unconsciously think about a thing clearly before you say, or you teach others in the process of In the process of teaching others, your brain will always maintain a state of thinking this thing through before you say it, and your own The requirements will also be unconsciously strict some. This is a good way to exercise a person's dominant power.
4, independent thinking: get rid of conceit, compulsion and control
I started to come into contact with the bubbling circle in about 09, when I was also influenced by the
The "mystery man method" of influence, but basically I and my friends around me are a certain skepticism of this book
The reason is that people who have seen a little bit of the world know that the principle of picking up girls is very close to sales, there is no
Any sales will tell you that he has a specific sales method, and the market popular success and some inspirational words
The words of the market success and some motivational words, just to meet the body full of chicken blood but also has a serious delay in the psychological needs of young people strike
The first thing you need to do is to get a good idea of what you want.
People's psychology is like this, when they are going to do something they are not sure of, maybe they have not done it, maybe they are in this case.
Maybe they have not done it, maybe they have failed at it. They are inclined to trust authority. In the simplest
In the simplest terms, that is, a person internally believes that someone is more valuable than he is, and that person is also
In the simplest terms, a person who believes in his heart that someone is more valuable than he is, and that person has gained widespread social acceptance, is prone to listen to what he says.
This is the halo effect 。。。。。。。。 (Here is the commercial time, 199 seconds or so left in the commercial)
++++++++++++++++++ I'm the divider +++++++++++++++
Written in the end: some suggestions
1, when talking with the opposite sex, do not avoid each other's eyes
2, speak to raise the volume
3, use less text to communicate with people
4, away from those who can easily control you or things
5、Learn to make decisions and be responsible for their own decisions
6、Don't care about other people's opinions, but cherish your reputation
7、List one thing you want to do the most and go all out to do it
Let you build core self-confidence, significantly improve the energy, aura, charisma, willpower, increase the inner sense of security, reduce the sense of loss and gain, and be true to yourself. Not only can you get better women, but you can also achieve a full range of self-worth in your career, social life, and self-motivation.