YOU ARE READY TO DATE WHEN YOU DONT NEED TO!
You are ready to date when you don't need to!
I can hear you say, did I hear you clearly? This was my exact reaction the first time I heard Dr.Myles Munroe make this statement. And yes! You heard me clearly!
Dating should be done out of choice and not out of necessity. Those who opt to date out of necessity will have problems in their relationships. There is a difference between a need and a want, you cannot do without a need but you can do without a want. Dating because you need to simply means that you cannot do without a relationship,which is definitely wrong. If you need anyone to complete you then you are not ready to date. Dating should be done when you have first learnt how to be single.
Too many people stay in unhappy relationships because they are scared to be single!
People who are sacred of being alone feel so because they have not learnt to be single and whole. I have a friend that was moving from one relationship to another, the moment one relationship ended,she started another. I asked her why? She said it's because she was scared of being alone and funny enough, she was not treated nicely in most of these relationships. She had to put up with all forms of abuse because she was looking for someone to complete her. Things finally got so bad in her last relationship and the guy left her. She finally summoned courage to be single for a while and after 6 months, one amazing guy came along, but she dint accept the relationship because she was having fun being single.
The point is this, she put up with unhappy relationships because she was scared of being alone(because she needed a relationship),but when she learnt how to be alone, she was much happier. And I believe at this stage, she will be able to set her own standards and she would not settle for nothing less but the best.
People who start dating out of necessity end up giving 50-50 in their relationship because each of them is focused on getting what they don't have and the relationship ends when they don't get what they crave for , when in the actual sense each person is supposed to give a 100℅ for the relationship to thrive.
People who date out of necessity feel so insecure. They keep thinking, "what if he says he no longer wants the relationship", "what if she says she no longer wants the relationship". The worst that can happen if they leave you is that you would be alone. But if you have mastered the act of being single and whole, being alone won't be much of a problem to you.
Being single and whole means that you are complete and you don't need another person to define your happiness.
Being single and whole means that you are comfortable being alone and you don't need to depend on anyone else.
Being single and whole means that you have learnt how to love yourself because self-love is the best kind of love. If you can't love yourself, you can't love someone else. Some people struggle with inferiority complex and insecurity issues, if you have not sorted out the struggles in your life, you cannot have a healthy relationship.
Dating when you don't need to means you choose to date out of choice and at this stage, you will date for all the right reasons. Having a relationship for you will be a blessing, an added advantage, a butter on your bread. You will stick to that person because you love him/her and choose to date them. You will never stay in an unhappy relationship because you are scared of being alone and when things don't work out, you would gradually walk away.
Thanks for reading! I would love to hear your thoughts on this.
I came to realize something while I was single:
Only date someone who doesn't need you.
That's right, find someone who could be perfectly content without you, but wants you in their life. Otherwise you run the risk of being a walking ATM, a surrogate parent (for your partner and/or their kids if they have them), or, worst of all - the emotional crutch.
When you find someone who doesn't actually need you, there's plenty of material for a synergistic amplification that benefits you both. Otherwise, often times, instead of a beneficial relationship one of you is going to be dragging an anchor.
Spot on! This is simply an intelligent comment. Am glad you were able to share your thoughts here.
Thank you!
I'm quite confused, if one dates when he/she doesn't need to date, then what is the essence of dating and how will such relationship hold when there is no need for it to take place in the first place.
I want to believe that you read the post well. Cos I explained why one should date when he/she does not need to.
There is a difference between a need and a want. You can't do without a need but you can do without a want.
There is a difference between wanting to date and needing to date. Wanting to date means that you Can do without a date which is a good thing and needing to date means that you cannot do without a date which is wrong.
Having a date should be an added advantage to you.
The essence of a relationship is to be happy and may be reach the end goal which is marriage, if you go into a relationship needy, you would end up being unhappy when your partner cannot meet your needs or your partner ends up being drained because of your needy nature.
Marriage is a Union of two complete people who would be able to give their 100% and not two incomplete people. To be complete, you need to master the act of being single and whole.
In a nutshell, you are ready to date when you are complete physically,
emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually without dependence upon anyone else and not when you need to date. If not, there would be no difference between you and a teenager that is dating just because he/she is driven by hormones.
You just made me write another post😎😎
Award winning comment .
Accolades sis .. you deserve an accolade 😊😂
Hahahaha. Thanks dear. @arutynwa
😇😇
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