a love letter.

Dear Tunde,

It's 2am here and I am still fully awake. Awake because thoughts of you have consistently continued to evade my mind. All I can think of is just you. I have done all I know to do to bring sleep: I have taken 4 cups of warm milk, I have flipped through pages of books to read; this one even spoilt it for me as each letter seems to be spelling your name. So this night doesn't seem to be for sleep. Well, today is Saturday, so any time sleep chooses to come, it's okay. Meanwhile, let me put out my thoughts on paper. Maybe, just maybe, I will feel light. I am only trying and hoping it will work. Afterall, we say a problem shared is a problem half solved. So I'm just going to be sharing this on paper.

Tunde, I got to know you via facebook. You made a post about relationships; how that guys should learn to respect their babes; how babes should be treated by the very guys who claim to love them. The post ended with 'If you love her, respect her'. I didn't see the post initially because we weren't friends on facebook. It was my friend Irene, who is on your friends' list, who mentioned me in her comment on the post. She knew I was in a relationship where I was being disrespected. My boyfriend at the time had no single respect for me. I could not even break up with him because of the financial benefits of being with him. It's not like I couldn't fend for myself, but he's from a rich home, so, at will, he spoilt me. I guess that could explain why he disrespected me.

Reading your post that day gave me the needed courage to break up with him. And I did! He didn't even beg me to not leave him. He felt I would run back to him when I have needs to meet. His thinking though. Because, I never went back to my vomit!

Back to getting to know you, I ran a check on your facebook profile and wall. I was attracted to all I saw. Your pictures, your posts, in short, everything about you attracted me that I didn't hesitate to click the 'add friend' option on your page.

You did not respond to my friend request immediately, but I was patient. Each time I visited facebook, I took a trip to your page. I would spend time looking at your pictures and reading your posts. One of those days, I said, unconsciously, to myself 'This guy is making so much sense; I wish he were my boyfriend'. I realized what I'd said and smiled at my stupidity. Immediately, I cautioned myself. 'You can't fall in love with him. Do you know if he has a girlfriend?" After I asked myself that question, I quickly took a trip to your wall to look at the pictures and read the posts, carefully this time. I wanted to find a pointer to enable me answer my own question. Well, I didn't find any. So I told myself that you are single; as single as the number 1...

Then you accepted my request. After what seemed like eternity, though it was just two weeks. Wow! You needed to see how so excited I was. I almost allowed my excitement push me to your inbox. 'Babe, receive small sense,' I said to myself. 'Why jump into his inbox. You are a woman. Wait for him to come after you'.

So while I 'waited', I would just like your posts, learn from them and grow myself. Each of your post I read made my likeness for you to deepen. I longed to know you for you, to meet with you in person, to...start...something...to experience the expression of your heart...

I could not wait for you to come after me. You have not even noticed me, so how will you come after me. I finally came inbox and dropped a message 'Hi, I want to commend your writing prowess. You are really good at it. I read your posts and they have been very inspiring. Keep writing because someone is getting encouraged'.

Minutes later, I got a message. It was from you.

'Hello Dara, I'm glad you find my posts inspiring and thank you for sharing that with me. How are you?'

Wow, did he just ask me that? I went agog.

'I'm fine oh! And you?'

'I'm fine too. Thank you!'

That was the beginning of our friendship. A friendship that grew and blossomed via social media. We would chat always and about everything. You were a true friend. A blessing to me. Your words built me; they made me strong. I was indeed endeared to you. I found this certain level of comfort with you. Many times, I told myself 'I like you so much'!

4 months it was. 4 months of deep friendship. 4 months of me longing for you. 4 months of hoping...

I just realized that in all of our communication, I refrained from asking one question. One vital question. One that would have slowed down my emotional race. I didn't ask you if you were in a relationship! I did this for two reasons. First, it was deliberate. I could only create a mental image of you and I. If I should ask that question, I would be adding another babe to the mix. Secondly, I looked everywhere and I didn't see any picture of any likely babe. Even Irene told me she wasn't sure you were in a relationship. This kept my hope alive.

Yesterday evening, I got a call from you! "Dara, where do you stay in Lagos?"

"I live at Surulere, and work at Lekki. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I am in Lagos..."

I didn't allow you to finish your statement before I let out a loud scream! I was simply expressing my excitement! Thank God I was the only one in the office...

"OH MY GOD!!! So where are you staying in Lagos right now?"

"I am at Lekki also. I want to go to the cinema this evening to see a movie. You should come also. It would be great to see you for the first time."

"okay!! I will be there. You don't know how excited I am right now. I will sure be there."

"See you at 6 then."

I was super excited. You could see the gosh feeling all over me.

I closed early at work so I could rush over to the cinema. Infact, I wanted to be there earlier and I did that. I was a bit hungry but excitement wouldn't make me eat. My womb leaped in joy. I was finally meeting YOU...

Then I saw you! You were handsome and charming and princely and graceful in your look! I knew you were handsome, but I didn't know it was THIS handsome.

WOW!

I opened my lips to let that whisper out! Then I saw her. She was beside you! She was holding your hand... Or you were holding her hand. The both of you held each others' hands.

It initially seemed like a mirage to me until you were close. Then my heart started beating faster... Does he have a girlfriend? "Who could she likely be to him? Maybe she's his sister. I tried comparing your looks to find something in common that will make me tag her as your sister...

"Hello Dara!" You said to me while you stretched your hand to shake me. By this time, I was literally shaking. I could not release my hand to you immediately. Then came the heart breaker: You introduced her to me.

"Dara, this is my sweetheart, Seyi..."

I heard that and my senses shut down. I looked at her. She was just all smiles. Who wouldn't be. Who will have Tunde as her man and won't be smiling. She is beautiful no doubt, but I think I deserve you. For you have opened a space only for yourself right inside of me.

Tunde, if you ever get to read this, just know that this woman loves you!

Dara,

The end!