Is it possible to not be able to fall in love?
In danger of sounding like a cynical divorcee I have been wondering if it is possible to not fall in love again?
18 months ago I split up with my wife. I could go into the whys and wherefores, however whatever I could tell you about the ex, I'm sure she would deny it all. Then again she could argue that grass is blue.
Over this time I feel like I have been on a journey of self discovery. One of the things I believe is that not everything I believe is necessarily true. For example I used to think I was a depressive. Where now I believe that sometimes I experience episodes of depression.
Did you see the difference?
Defining oneself can be self limiting. Even if you really believe it is true, have to think if it wasn't.
This thing called love. As you know there are different types. The love you have for your kids, the love you have for things e.g. food, the love you have for a sports team and then falling in love.
I think I have been in love 3 times. I say think as I only know the feeling within myself and aren't able to compare with how other people feel.
The dilemma is that I am seeing someone at the moment but not sure if is the "right" thing. I mean on one hand maybe I am being subconciously defensive so aren't letting myself feel anything. But on the otherhand two people don't always fall in love.
Overridding all that, does it even matter if I can or can't love again?
Hey, you are always fully responsible for the circumstances in your life. Every situation is prone to change it you approach it with a different pattern of thought. Its always best to focus on the better things in your life (always). If there are things that seem bad, dont fret take advantage of the fact that it is pointing you towards what you really want and focus on that (what you really want) you deserve all the happiness you can imagine.
I believe there is only one type of love. Just different means to the same end. Be it kids or lover the aim is to achieve some level of happiness. Its wonderful as you are in the process of self discovery. Its only natural that you would lose some relationships.
Appreciate the things in your life right now. It will clearly define when you want to go next and it is always a better feeling place. When you start feeling good about who you really are, you will find someone who is in tune with that.
You can always love again. Just focus on the things that bring you joy.
Live a happy life and anticipate greatness.
All is well.
Great advice. I guess this post was inspired by a question of "does one actually need to be in love with a lover or not"
Your reply actually made me realise that I haven't been as appreciative of things in my life as I could have been recently and by default giving things a more negative light.
Appreciate you taking the time for such a well thought out response.