After 12 Years...I Might Have Just Met My Life-Partner...We'll See

I was literally about to place this personal ad on Craigslist, as a joke:

And then this guy that I have been kind of talking to in a philosophy class I take, asked me out...

Wow! It's been 12 years since my last relationship. I have had crushes, but I am much saner now about relationships, and maybe I am ready. I don't feel like I am about to jump off a cliff, but I do feel like I could fall madly in love with this guy, in time, in a sane way.

This is different. I am not all obsessed and insane about him. We have been hanging out together every day for the last few weeks - ever since we first sat down and had a 7 hour conversation in which we talked about all the stuff we know about what is happening on earth. He knows, but from a different source. I feel ok in my body. I don't dress up for him and I don't act differently for him - I am just being myself.

Right before he asked me out, I had just started the Master Cleanse I just finished - so it was about 3 weeks ago - I had this feeling of true self love. I have never felt that before. I just felt this burst of love for myself that I was willing to try to get healthy and deal with my gut issues instead of ignoring them. I felt as if it was coming from my inner self - deep in my body - a part of myself that I have never felt before ... and then - this apparently available guy appeared.

I have never been attracted to an available guy in my life. Usually, whenever I was attracted to a guy, I immediately found out he was a jerk - and I would be so disappointed that I was still only attracted to jerks. I was resigned because I live amongst flesh-robots - and no one my age has been around...

We have been hanging out for 3 weeks, alot and last night he put his arm around me. I am glad he feels the same way! But I told him, I would like to slow things down and really get to know him, so that my fear and crazy don't get triggered. He said that he liked that idea, too.

I used to use relationships addictively as a way to escape. I was absolutely insane when it came to relationships. I could never be attracted to someone who was really available because I was not emotionally available. I had to do a lot of spiritual work to get past this childhood induced trauma. I feel like I might finally have gotten there... we'll see.

I did make this Sigil in October....

I am happily married to my life partner and I have been making it into a silver sigil pendant.