Sex and respect

Some look at - and experience sex as a powerful, beautiful, and natural energy that connects people. They see the freedom in it and appreciate the deliciousness of it without taboo. These free sexual beings, either men or women, go for what they want without the masquerade of it all. Being open and straight forward with this energy often brings up the aspect of selfrespect and being respectful.

Others are brought up to believe that women should be ‘hard to get’ because that will be the key for a man respecting them. If that is true I do not know, it may be true in some cases and it may be not in other cases. It depends on the person I guess.
But what this perception does bring along with it is that the beauty and freedom of sexual experiences are made to seem like they are something dirty and unworthy unless they are ‘fitted’ in some kind moral code. Which often causes people to lie at first hand thus laying the groundwork of lies and no one can built something lasting on lies because a lie is something that does not exist, because it is not the truth.

All I know is that if we want to enjoy life to the fullest we have to be able to lose ourselves in the moment, because life is a collection of moments. What kind of moments they are is up to us to decide. Moments of negativity will always come and go and those are the kind we may learn from but we cannot enjoy them. But the moments of pleasure are rare and those are worth being vulnerable for.

Being vulnerable and letting someone know you want them and/or want to be with them is something beautiful. The interpretation of what respect is might get in the way of this. True, that some may take advantage because they might see easy going as something unworthy, but then again…others will not.

So, to the men I say: “when a woman jumps very fast in the sack with you does not mean that she does the same with every other man. Even if she does, it can be different with you. It also does not mean that she will not commit to you, if that is required or expected at some point.”

To the ladies: “not every man who is straight to the point about wanting you sexually means that he is disrespecting you. It may mean that he just really wants you, nothing more and nothing less.”

But in order for this to be experienced it is imperative that we are conscious about our inner being, that we can trust that it will guide us in connecting with the right person for occasional sex or more. When we know ourselves we will know when it is alright or not alright to connect with someone in this way. Also, being easy going with sex does not mean having it in an irresponsible way.

Conclusion: maybe we should teach ourselves and our children that experiencing sexuality has to be something beautiful and following these urges without restraint but in a responsible way, does not necessarily make it something without meaning. Being honest about what you want and respecting the honesty of the other without labeling it as weak or easy may be one of the healthiest beginnings of something beautiful and long lasting. Go with it if you feel the connection, do not judge it and do not question it when you feel no inner restraint. Just be thankful that life interacts with you through someone who wants to connect with you in an intimate way.

Iftesha