The point you made about stolen motivation is so on point. I remember when I was depressed . I would literally remove all positivity out of my life and I had no motivation to get out of the situation. It was a true sunken place bro.

You will win. I am here with you and for you man. We all have our days. Some harder than others. There's power in speaking over evil. i pray for your healing and I pray that God uses you in mighty ways as I believe he will. You have not went through all that crap for nothing. You are a warrior. We are at war!