It's the Kavorka, Jerry!

I don't know about you, but i was brought up on a healthy diet of Seinfeld episodes – to the extent that not a day goes by without at least one Seinfeld quote in my household. But then again, they're just so relatable...

So, if you're like me, you know the episode in which Kramer becomes obssessed with the idea that he has a powerful spell on women, called the kavorka – the lure of the animal – which makes him irresistible to women. One that he cures by bathing in vinegar and hanging cloves of garlic around his neck.

And you know, like for any Seinfeld fan, it was funny at first, until I realized – to my horror – that I have the kavorka, too. I kid you not, I had seen my future, and it wasn't pretty:

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It became apparent to me,about two years ago, when I joined an acting class and almost every male in that group (11?12?) made a pass at me, in some way. It's not that I mind, per se, a bit of attention is always nice, but they began getting out of hand.

One became infatuated with me and would flirt with me and try to touch me and get me alone, every chance he got. It escalated to the point that he didn't care and, in a group outing, began tugging on me and insisting (over and over and over) that I allow him to buy me a drink. He was very scary, in his insistence, he had that mad look in his eye. My boyfriend, who was right next to me, eventually had to yell at this guy and get scary to make him back off.

Another guy was even worse – he became obsessed with me, began doing things (like getting tattoos and such) just because he thought they would impress me...and was furious when I got together with my boyfriend. Was really hung up. He sent threatening messages and acted quite violently towards the both of us. I actually ran into him earlier today, and couldn't help feeling a bit of the old scare, although he was completely peaceful (eyes weren't, though).

These are just the two examples that stand out, but there have been many others. Oh, so many others... Random people I've barely exchanged pleasantries with become obsessed with me. It'd be okay if they just liked me, you know, but they go beyond that decent line of pleasant flirting. They become intrusive and won't leave me alone. It's very weird...
I just seem to attract men. And weirdos, to boot. I never seem to get the nice guys. I was just watching a 'Sex and the city' episode, in which Carrie goes to see a shrink, her problem being that she attracts the wrong men. Maybe I should do that. The problem must be me.

Seinfeld - The Conversion

They just don't leave me alone – they'd message me at night or pop up wherever I was. It's even happened here, on Steemit. I'd meet a guy, who seemed nice enough, we'd comment on each other's posts and then... bam! Complete kavorka mode. I even got one dude who was aiming his posts specifically at me. Stopped posting when I didn't respond.

Now, I wouldn't complain if this damn kavorka worked on everybody. But it doesn't. Blasted thing...
The guys I like never seem to become obsessed with me and I can't help but wonder....why?

I mean, sure, they like me. I'm a nice person – I am likable, but they never go that extra mile to the border of obsessiveness, which is strange. I mean, how do I attract some of them and make them go crazy, while others are just 'meh, she's alright'? Why do I incite such strong emotions in some men, but never the ones I want?
And why am I always left on the side, going 'not him, him! Just a little to the left, it's not that bloody hard!'.

Dear WhoeversInCharge,

I don't want to seem ungrateful for the attention, or anything, but would you mind getting the right one this time? This whole unwanted lure thing is starting to get old. And I really don't fancy bathing in vinegar and garlic, so...Do try to get the right guy.

Cheers.