Love Sucks.. Especially When Lost

I am about to drift off to sleep.

I have been single since December. I tried rebounding with one woman after my last relationship, but I still cannot shake my ex.

She is in my dreams and I cannot help but find my mind drifting back to her.

You see, she is in prison. The relationship concluded before she went back. She get's out next month and I cannot help but wonder what to do. She sent me a letter a couple of months ago, saying she was sorry for how she treated me. That she regretted what happened, that even if she blew her chance with me, that she just wants me in her life.

After everything that happened, I felt betrayed. I wrote her back saying that she may not have blown it, that for the time being I am focusing on myself. That when she gets out, if she is able to take care of herself and I am still single and things happen to fall back into place, that I was not opposed to trying again. I just didn't want to have her give me a bunch of false promises, just to have them fall apart again.

I truly did love her, but it nearly killed me, quite literally. I need to take care of myself, I need to protect myself.

But still I wonder, what could of been, could it still be? Maybe it just wasn't the right time?

Thoughts?