The story between my step father Y and I-----15

Although I had a hunch, I had been psychologically prepared for a long time, but when this day came, I still couldn't stand it.I hit myself, pinch myself, and hit the wall with my head. I don’t feel any pain when my hand is broken. 　
Played truant from school in the afternoon. After sitting quietly for six or seven hours, I calmed down, but my heart was ashamed. I forced myself to lie in bed to sleep, and try to stop to think about him. I try to let this thing passed as quick as possible. If you never get it, you should not fear losing. 　 At that moment, it was like saying goodbye. Say goodbye to Y, farewell to my happy time, and farewell to the secrets deep in my heart. Y will never know that I rely on him so much, admire him, and hope him extravagantly. I just want him think that I am just a little pitiful, a little ignorant child. I don’t want to give him pressure, don't let him think that I am his burden. That's it, X, you can do it. Say goodbye to him. Let him go, let him slowly get out of my life