ETHAM NO WYSTA WOHL TE BILM

To you, whom I gave my heart to.
You might be tired of hearing this from me but I love you. I really do. For us to came to a point where I see this little ring on my finger, I wonder. I wonder how our story goes up to the bells ringing.

What did you even see in me? Out of the billion girls out there, why choose my pathetic self? I’m a crazy stuck up bitch with issues. How can you love someone like me? How can you stay in love with me? Cheers to you for being able to put up with my craziness day by day. Even to ask me to be with you till the end of time.

It’s just crazy, you know. To be in a place where we could build our own family. I just want to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the mistakes I made and the mistakes that I’ll make. I’m not perfect. I just want you to know that I try. I cry a lot, but I always try to fix myself, to fix every bit of me that has been shattered by the past.

Waking up beside you everyday, with a really bad breath and a pool of drool in the morning, it would be not pleasing to your eyes. I’m not beautiful or pretty or sexy. Hell, that’s why I’m wondering what did you see in me. I would have a lot of scars, from stretch marks to my injuries to self inflicted wounds. I hope you’ll never see them as just that as each blood I shed has a story or each mark in my body is a part of a memory.

I would probably cook you burnt food and prepare you a bitter coffee. I would probably break a plate or two, or hurt myself in the kitchen. I would try to clean up the house but it’ll just end up messier. I would try to do the laundry but it’s not guaranteed to be clean. I would try, and I would fail. But please bear with me.

I’m sorry for being over-protective and controlling. I’m jealous and bitter and insecure. I probably would nag or drop hints for you to do the things you did for your past lovers to do the same for me. In a sense, I feel like I’ve won. They don’t have something over me. They’re not as special as I am because you did everything for me. I’m sorry for fussing over your phone calls and messages. My trust has been broken in the past a few too many times. I trust you, I do. I’m just scared of being left and broken again.

I’m a woman of emotions. I might say a lot of hurtful things or do things whimsically. But believe me darling, I’ll fight for you ‘til the ends of the earth. I like long and meaningful conversations, I’m usually a quiet person but I’ll never shut up when I’m with the people I’m comfortable with. I like presents and surprises, maybe that’s one of the reason why I’d never leave you, maybe not. I hardly leave people because when I do, it means I’m past my breaking point where I don’t really care anymore. I love roses and scrapbooks and journals. I love dogs, you probably love them too.

I still wonder what you would be like. Maybe you’re not the man whom I expected you to be, but I’ll always love you. I expect that we would have a lot of fights given my stubbornness. I thank you for never getting tired of me. I would apologize a lot but would still do it. There’s a lot of things I want to say but I guess I’ll do that while having breakfast together.

But hey, to you, let’s have some intellectual and silly conversations in the future. Because as we would grow white hairs together, the only thing that could keep us strong is communication. Words and all. I am excited to finally say “I do.” No matter what you look like, or whoever you are, believe me. I would probably walk down the aisle with a messed up make up because I’m too damn happy to keep the tears from falling.

ETHAM NO WYSTA WOHL TE BILM,







To the man who will be my last,







I love you. I really do.

- Christine Francisco