The Pit of Endless Rage

It seems that I have stumbled into an endless pit of rage,
At first it was observer mode, but now I think engage,
For a few score weeks I thought "Oh no, this surely is not swell."
It seems that I have changed my tune, "Tonight we dine in hell!"
And so my friends I looked upon the mighty cavernous wall;
I dived right in straight head first and now I'm in free fall!

Flying down the cavern is actually a wondrous gaffaw
My life will flash before my eyes and now I watch in awe.
Moments long buried that seemed quite dead in distant past
Have sprung back to life all zombie like alive again at last
Not every vision's horror some some seem dear and true
My children's birth, my PhD, the day we said "I do."

I wonder how this got here as at times the cinema stops.
Long black outs lasting years cover exuberant personal flops.
But the craziest thing that happened as I'm skydiving in your rage
I looked straight down and saw YOU HERE. You're trapped too; encaged.
Like Gandolf and the Balrog we plummet in emotional fight
We'll smash the world and break the home so long as you're not right.

But something inside me wiggles that make me think some more
I'd like to find a nice way out, I wonder if there's a door?
Rather than defeat you, I'd rather take your hand
I'll fall along beside you, your best friend, and your man.
I do recall a another time, I've fallen, but for big eyes deep and blue
In every way I've been falling since I laid eyes on you.

My dearest are you in there? My dearest are you here?
Don't lash out, I don't consent, but I lay aside my fear.
I'm sorry for the many times and ways that I failed to treat you well
This life has surly been obscene to me, and/but you have been my shell.
But miracles can happen, I stand to here to attest.
I see that things lay broken here, but you have loved me best.

If you could kindly stop your swinging to rip off my throat and balls,
I know I deserve each and everyone, but before this curtain calls...
I have a vision of our home with you and me and kids
Happy, smiling, laughter, play, alive again like this.
I've asked before, I'll ask again, despite the odds I see,
Take my hand, let's find yourself, and then once more "Please marry me?"

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I love you buddy. We'll figure it out.