Long sleepless nights
I loved him, and although I also had strong feelings for him, I could never look at him to admit it. They say that every love story has its time, and it dies if it is not played at the right time. Sometimes all these thoughts cross my mind as I sit in an empty room with no life around. I have reasons to be upset and he sees this enough to hurt enough. With her, with every touch and every emotion, the feeling continued to swell. He always looked at me to at least leave a tip and I always smiled and changed.
There were times when I spent long sleepless nights and wet pillows. The next morning I had to carry the regular smile that made it very clear to me that this wasn't as valuable to me as it was to him. In those moments how I wished that I would let go of myself, let go of myself, tell him how much I love him and hug him. To embrace this feeling.
She came out of India and still touches on never missing my birthdays or any special event of my life. I still appreciate your courage to confront my wedding happily. Yet neither of us was happy. I have unlimited memories with it that can never be matched and changed. By the way, it felt very special and different. He understood so much that I didn't really have to talk. But still we keep quiet. To hide the pain and live the moment in hopes of getting things done.
Living in the moment is definitely appreciated. However, if that moment gives you memories that you probably never get past, it's not worth making it equally miserable.
He kept asking and I kept ignoring before the day we would have to leave college. It came to a standstill. And today I live with "what if".
A few years later, I married a man who clearly did not meet my expectations. But there came a point where I had thoughts about what I left unsaid. I find a reason for this. It kept all its promises and still does. The man can give up everything to fix everything and make me happy. But you know I'm a woman, my life is not just my life. Actually, it's not mine at all. I am not allowed to feel, I am not free.