Loneliness

Loneliness is something I’ve always experienced and so has everyone on this earth. But I think I have had an unhealthy amount of it. I do have family that I talk to from time to time but when that call is over, there is a profound silence that fills the atmosphere. I am writing this in said condition. At the moment the gentle hum of my desktop is drowning out the silence and I feel a sense of comfort in just hearing something go on nearby. I need to hear something or else the feeling that comes after too much silence is unbearable. I cannot describe that feeling its not fear, anger or anything, it’s simply unsettling. Some would say its creepy to have too much silence but sometimes, it can be soothing but not for too long. Let’s say it’s a nice weekend and you just had lunch or tea and there is a nice bright sun shining through the window on to your bed and it is super quiet, and you can hear birds chirping occasionally, that is the kind of peace I like. Seeping like this, without even pulling curtains is amazing.

My bedroom currently has no natural light coming in and I remember when I used to stay in a nice bedroom where I would get lots of natural light and fresh wind would blow through the windows and clean up whatever dull used air there was. Since I stay in there for the whole day doing god knows what, I needed some good air and light. But right now, it’s not great. The window is closed because it’s no use even if I open it, no light comes through and the air is as bad quality inside and outside. Hey but at least I am still alive. I am planning to move soon. How soon though, I do not know. It’s pretty good here aside from the above mentioned. People are great, the food is great the shops are close by and all that.

I am free to do whatever for a while as I have a lot of free time on my hands but it’s just finding a way to use this time to make something productive that I need. And I think best when I am alone. Mind that loneliness and being alone are different. Loneliness is a feeling of isolation and being alone is simply being on their own. Anyways, in the free time that I got, I need to find something productive to do. Maybe I’ll actually write more of these posts. Let me know if you like these kinds of posts. I like to write about these types of matters because I don’t like to follow too much politics or petty news stories or simply don’t have much to say on them as it is quite hard for me to understand these subjects or simply too stupid. Maybe I’ll talk more about that in another post.

If you read each word till the end, please know that I love you. Normally, I tend to over explain and in conversations with people, I just get cut off and ignored; Also a subject for another post.

Once again thank you for reading.
BAYYYIIEEE <3