Ain't it funny how our memories hold so much of us in chains. Removing the heavy shackles of the past can be harder for others. I have been in a constant battle with my past for as long as I can remember. I went from being so determined to change my future for the better, to be knocked down more than my fair share. But here I am writing my thoughts down. Something I have been so scared of. I don't like writing, I'm scared of it. And here I am scared and excited at the same time.
Even after everything I've been through, I'm an orphan now with no family and no children to call my own. I'm still very grateful for all the experiences I have endured as I am still here living my life.
I have met such lovely people who genuinely just want to help others. A very different world from what I'm use to. People in my life where ignorant and laughed at what they never knew or understood. If you wanted to better yourself, well then you thought you were better than them for trying. So you where ridiculed and laughed at.
I am grateful for my life and all I have at this moment. I want to thank @raymondspeaks for encouraging and supporting me through some very dark days. Helping me believe there is a better way, and expressing your feelings allows you to move on in life.
After my last post I got very down. Then a friend asked me to look after her kids. I was ecstatic, I love when mothers trust me with their kids. It's like someone saying I am worthy and I don't feel like the weird woman who never had children of her own. Being responsible for another's child is such a big compliment.
I'm also very grateful that I bond with kids easily without having to buy them, like toys and sweets. I would have been a good mother, the universe just had other plans for me. Some have been awesome some have been devastating. I'm just lucky I'm here to tell the tale and have had such a positive influence on the children and young people I've had the pleasure to be apart of their life's. No matter how long or short a period I've been involved in there life's.