TO THE BROKENHEARTED (Part 1): When you say You'll move on, You should really mean it!

Have you ever been brokenhearted?

Have you ever felt the worst kind of excruciating pain in your life?

or Are you at the midst of getting lost in life?

Are you slowly drowning in depression?

If so, I would like to share an idea with you about how profound depression really is which stalls a broken person to moving on. And why you must really mean to yourself that you must MOVE ON from a heartbreak.

When you've been brokenhearted (I'm talking about relationships here), you are actually experiencing the 3 basic stages of Acute Grief. These are: Shock, Disorganization and Reconstruction. This fact is based on the book I've read Transcending Loss by Ashley Davis Prend (A book given to me by a very kind friend of mine).

In the schock phase, you'll feel numb at first and very denial on the fact that someone has left or cheated on you for example. You'll breakout and go almost crazy at the Disorganization Phase in which you are taking unhealthy coping mechanisms for dealing with grief. In this phase, you are also at the state of resentment and loath over the person who hurt you. You would curse someone with all your life because he / she has ruined you into pieces.

In the Reconstruction phase, you are at the point where you decide to drag yourself from the mud of depression, making your way to "getting-up-and-start-over". This is also the point of acceptance that you had lost the person forever.

These stages are the phase one must go through whether he/she likes it or not. And that how harsh Grief is. You have to feel the pain in the process.

Most people are slowly progressing in moving on going through these stages with their strong determination to heal up. Although there are grieving people eventually reach the Reconstruction stage, there are some people who are "still" stuck at the Disorganization Phase. They are having a hard time making their way to the last phase of acute grief probably because they are still holding the grudge in their hearts.

You for instance

Before you reached the reconstruction phase, you may had gone through some unhealthy and maladaptive coping mechanisms on the process which caused you to go astray in your life. You ruined yourself physically, ruined your career, destroy family relationships, risk your life and lost your faith. And then after experiencing all of those things, you get to approach slowly the Reconstruction phase where you start to accept your loss. However, as you are about to start moving on, one moment when you see the person online or bump into , the pain resurfaces again....

All the bad memories with that person suddenly come to life as if you haven't gone through a process. Then you go back to ground zero again.

What I'm trying to say on this blog is that when you commit to yourself that you must move on, you must really mean it and stop deceiving yourself. Because if you are not firm, all of your sacrifices and efforts in trying to move on will all be useless. You are wasting time. You are stalling the process.

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I am posting the second half of this blog on my next post in few days in which I'm going to share with you about a real-life Diary sribble of a woman who was brokenhearted. I know this could be frivolous to be posted BUT THIS SHALL BE A "TAKEAWAY" TO PEOPLE WHO HAVE GONE THROUGH HARD TIMES IN LOVE.

Please. Upvote and Resteem!!

I wish I could get across this idea to somebody who need to see hope at desperate times of life.

Please follow me @zozby for more interesting content

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