This is my story

My friends always think that I had things go my way very easily because of my parents' economical status. I always hated it when they think that way. I still do but now I just ignore them

Since young, I was always thinking about others. I don't fight with my siblings (older and younger) for stuff. I don't ask for a lot of stuff as I am satisfied with the things that I have. You can say that I'm a weird kid when even my parents have to force me to accept the gift they bought for me. I will always ask them "why did you buy this for me?" or "you don't have to buy me stuff"

Yes, I have to admit my parents' high economical status. But it was all because of their hard work. They worked day and night, during weekdays and sometimes on the weekends. Watching them work since young, I wanted to lighten their burden. That's why I, as a stubborn Scorpio that I am, rather earn for myself. I always hated the thought of depending on others. Like what if they leave and you have no one to depend on? How would you survive? Those sentences were always in my mind.

Now graduated and earning a degree, finding jobs as a fresh grad is hard. My grades are average and my architectural works are fairly okay so getting accepted to work in those big companies are a bit of a struggle. This was not okay for me. Not working and not earning anything, I felt the pressure that I put up upon myself. Sometimes, I get really stressed and cried at night. Learning that some of my friends are working really added the pressure. So it was really suffocating for me. I had depression and it was bad. I realized that I needed help. And that was when I went to my mom when I was at my limit. She told me that patience is key and that following the others' footsteps isn't the way to go. She told me that I shouldn't be so uptight about myself and that I shouldn't stressed myself for not working or finding a job. I felt so bad hearing from her when she said I should relax and just ask them for help whenever I needed one. I have no idea why but I felt guilty. Also, I ended up getting a lecture from my mom because she knew I was going to say "But mom, I don't want to depend on you guys" after every talk we had haha

So now, I'm just taking my time to self improve myself. I started exercising. I started to jog around my apartment area every morning with those uncles and aunties (I realized that my stamina is shit as compares to theirs. I couldn't even run a lap). I started watching tutorials for new architecture software just so I am updated with the CAD/3D softwares. I also try to catch up on some kdramas and those netflix series. I also started reading on articles with different genres like politics, daily news etc. not just on comics and kpop.

So this is my story, my life.

If you're wondering whether I am still looking for a job, well yes I still am but I am not as pressured as before. I stopped beating myself up