🚫GAY LUBE OIL🚫

in #life7 years ago

Long story short I am 20 and I live with my parents (Yeah I know..), I ordered an ounce of weed from a canadian vendor, in my name and sent to my mom's house.

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Vendor labelled pack as "Gay Lube Oil". Im fine with stealth 10/10 but the problem is that my mom was the one opening the door to the mailman and now she refuses to give me the pack because she wants explanation as to why i've been ordering gay lube oil.
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My mother is a strong believer of the Faith (like a LOT) and she tried to have me admit that when my male friends sleep over we have anal sex with each other (which is totally false).

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Telling the truth about what's in the pack would probably trigger consequences worse than that of fakely admitting to enjoy phallic pleasures with my buddies in her home. I can't even tell her its for anal sex with girls because I never had a girlfriend yet and she will most likely punish me for admitting to doing anal sex. Her religious convictions suck. If I refuse to explain myself she will inevitably open up the pack.

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What to do now? She keeps it hidden from me and I'm very anxious about the possibility of being kicked out of the house. 😢😢😢

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Your mom is hot. Can I bang her?

But seriously, dude. Your mom's hot.

I'm sorry.
I lied.

That's some guy from Reddit mom. And she is hot. I know. 😥

Ok fine, not like I've never fooled around. I think we all have.

But this time I just wanna get high mane. Don't tell my mom bro.

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