Well..I can't sleep anymore..darn it!

Been thinking about what to write next. I've been thinking about you, my readers..my cohorts and compatriots. My other family. I'm hoping that through my writing and stories we can become closer. If you only knew the appreciation I have for you..

I tried to go back to sleep, but my mind was busy solving for X! Lol! I used to have many many friends because I was so lonely, but once I got married and started having children of my own my loneliness abated. Now they are all mostly grown and my wife works so that leaves me once again feeling a little bit lonely. Sure they come home, but they don't need me as much anymore. I'm more in a moral support role now.

Anyway, I'm up. Coffee is brewing and it's 4:52am here in Texas.
My daughter came in to give me a big hug. I told her she could go on to bed and get some sleep. She was staying up to take her younger brother to school, but since I'm up...with you.. I told her to get rested and that I'd take him to school.

I'm kind of a hermit/shutin. I don't go out much anymore. I've lost my muchness. That thing that drives us to leave home each and every day to go out into the world and be a part of society. People try to get me to go do things and I just have a hard time finding the door, but once I'm out of the house something magical happens to me and I don't want to come home. Life is strange and the experiences are even stranger.

Having my coffee now, 4:59am. It hot, bitter, no sugar, with milk. It warms my belly in my chilly house. I enjoy the cold, after having to live through the hundred degree days of summer, but it's not letting go without a fight. I have air conditioning and keep the house at around 68 degrees. Well, between 68-70. Anything more and I'm sweating and anything less and it's time for my winter gear. Living in the Goldilocks Zone.

I understand your hesitation in getting to know me, but I'm pretty simple to comprehend. I love too much too deeply. I am honest and honorable. I'm faithful to my wife. I enjoy films and occasionally books. I like people watching, they fascinate me. I'm always discovering new things about myself, but mostly I'm living like Bruce Lee suggested and being like water. Very malleable. I like paranormal stories, aliens, UFOs, USOs, Loch Ness Monster, etc. It is interesting to see how different we are and yet we are all so similar.

I look for the good in people. I look for our similarities, that way we may now each other better. Not in the physical sense, but in the spiritual sense. We are all connected for better or worse. The bad things I hear about overseas breaks my heart as much as the bad things that happen here.

It has taken me a lifetime to perfect true joy in the accomplishments of others. Before that I would be jealous or spiteful, base feelings that served no real good or purpose except to alienate me more from my fellow humans. I asked God for wisdom. Through Him and my own life lessons I developed that wisdom into what I share with you. No, I'm not the smartest or wisest person, but I am always trying to improve upon myself.

I have my wants and needs in life like everyone else. I try not to let those interfere with the goings on of my fellow man or their happiness. Your happiness is important and do not let anyone say different. While it is important, we must strive to not let our wants and needs make others unhappy and ruin their precious few happy moments they get to enjoy. People have forgotten this and we see it every time we turn on the news. Someone crossed a line and ruined another person's happiness. I'm talking about a wide variety of happiness here. It gets more complicated the deeper we delve, but let's keep it lite.

Chance, chaos, or God or whatever you call it is the one that ultimately decides whose happiness gets to override someone else's. These are my opinions on the matter, it's ok if you don't share these ideas and I'd love to hear your take. I'm imagining us sitting around a campfire enjoying our favorite beverages and simply chatting about life. Oh, if only I could share the thoughts in my head, the music I'm hearing, the art I'm creating, the memories I have, the experiences I've suffered through and all my little joys that keep me going even though logically speaking I shouldn't even be here or exist. My opinion is, God decided. He decided He wanted me here for whatever reason. I'm saying, here I am, let's be friends.

I think that's about all I have in me right at this moment. I'll write to you more later and we'll catch up.

Thank you for being a part of my life.
Much love, light and respect,
X

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