Becoming a consistently profitable trader...

The physical act of trading is easy, you click a mouse button to enter a trade and then click it to exit, hopefully over a series of trades you make more than you lose. The journey to get there and the 'market therapy' you have to undergo is something else though, far more than I imagined when I signed up for it.

It's been a shit journey - I was basically under the impression that I could dance around with flowers in my hands and the power of positive belief could get me through anything easily - load of crap- I never anticipated the massive sacrifices I had to make to get where I am now. I genuinely thought I'd work hard in the office and then go out pimping in the the evenings meeting hotties and living a life of excess.. No I was basically a trading monk that never went out and had zero social life.

Trading when done well isn't fun, it's not satisfying in the moment, it's not a 'rush', it's a means to an end. If I start enjoying it I get overconfident and lose money. It's boring and I have a continual feeling of apathy these days for trades that I'm in, I just don't care. It's the only way I've found to not become emotionally invested and steadily become accustomed to huge profit and loss swings without thinking about the money they represent.

From a growth perspective however I'm satisfied, proud of what I've done and how I'm progressing. I think you just have to give it a go, the guys that I've seen fail have done for 2 main reasons, they didn't put in the effort and they didn't truly understand what an edge was. 

[What is an edge? The most basic example is the roulette wheel, there are 36 numbers a 0 and a 00, so 38 in total, however you only get paid 36x what you put in when you should really be paid 38x. An edge is a positive expectancy, in the case of the casino they should be paying out 38x rather than 36x, that 2x difference is the 'edge' and they will make money off that over time.]

You need to develop an edge and really feel it working, go through the emotions of sabotaging it, adapting it, finding another edge and doing the same over and over again whilst still staying committed as other areas of your life are neglected. You have to be prepared to keep pushing. As soon as you start doing well markets will shift and you'll have to adapt again, it's pretty tough. I've wanted to quit multiple times but I'm glad I didn't.

Now I really enjoy the process of learning about new markets, trying new strategies and getting the satisfaction of being a step ahead. But it's taken a lot of pain to get here. I like the buzz that I get when I read a good book about trading and can see something potentially working, trying it out in the market with small size to see if I can add it to my repertoire.

I guess thinking about it now, I've learnt to compartmentalize. I'm a complete robot with stuff that works for me, ramping up the size but I still get a rush and thrill with stuff I'm trying out and building. I still make stupid punts without a provable edge for fun, but with tiny size and as more of a way to prevent it getting into my consistent trading.

What I enjoy the most is the building and creation aspects of trading, the process, but its draining having to get back up all the time. It's just a constant battle, but looking back every now and then to see what you've accomplished is pretty fulfilling.

Just be aware that truly committing to this journey and doing it well will rob you of a few years of genuine human interaction and life as you slowly assimilate into a profitable trading robot. 

Ultimately Cervantes was really onto something when he said 'The road is better than the inn'.

It's all about the journey, the process, if we can find joy in the process then the outcome will emerge... regardless.