I had missed something. As I watched him up there, I realized I had missed something. I had treated you as an enemy to be defeated, a mask to tear off. I hadn’t realized we were partners in all of this, that my first person voice should be you.
I had failed to nurture you, failed to sustain you, and so you grew into something so grotesque. Once you were something too ugly to look at I tried my best to do away with you. I dragged you through the mud and told you to leave. At times I thought you had.
As he stood up there screaming out of tune with 500 heads moving along, I realized I am you, and that every stroke against you was a strike against myself. What I had thought of as a purification, was instead castration. But as in the past, you still remain.
As I saw him move mountains with the snap of his fingers, I realized that I had held you back for all these years because I was afraid of you, afraid I would not be able to wield such power. I realize now that I cannot wield such power, for I am such power. I had split myself in two.
I only saw the ugliness in you, I knew you were prone to addiction, at least in the sorry state that I had left you. I knew that you would abuse such power. The ability to snap your fingers and have what you desire, how could I trust you with that. It’s so rare to find someone who does not abuse their own empowerment. That is why you need me by your side. And so I followed you into the dirt.
Now I will follow you where you wish. I know that you have endured enough, and that you know better than to abuse your power once it is returned to you. You can see that you are nothing, just as you are everything and I will be here to guide you.
You are ready to take the wheel. Snap your fingers and have what you will.