Dear diary

My pain has been very up and down and all over the place. Ive had some nice relief moments and some extremely difficult to endure moments. Its very crazy going through life this way and i never know what to expect.

My friend with a major back issue (hes had 3 spine surgeries and has titanium rods in back) had to move out of his house due to his roommates stealing his prescriptions and money. He had no where to go and ive let him stay here the past couple a days.

With my condition its hard for me to be around people when pains crancked up. Day 1 was really hard for me. I hope he gets new place Monday if all works out. He is staying out of my way and respecting my house but i dont do roommates period.

Ive been wanting to start walking daily, stretching/yoga, and some bodyweight training. I think it could help alot. I use to be so into health and now ive just been inactive drinking and smoking. Im hoping to get a treadmill soon, i really miss my healthy lifestyle. Its been really difficult to do any exercise with my pain.

I miss so many things. I have so many plans. Im learning to accept isness but sometimes its hard. I still need to set some more doctor appointments and stuff i just need a little break from them. The whole healthcare system is so dreadful.

Pain is about a level 5 right now, it was 3 earlier.
Its a beautiful cold day out today and i am going to soak up as much goodness as i can. How i dream of that day when relief and healing arrive.