- Be available. Make meals. Clean house, run errands. Care for the other children
- Express your genuine fellow feelings and grief sorrow at their loss.
- Let them express their feelings and grief as they see fit.
- Encourage them to be patient with themselves and not to demand too much from themselves
- Allow them to talk about the lost child as much as they wish, and you talk about the endearing qualities of the child.
- Give special attention to the child's brother and sisters for whatever length of time it is necessary.
- Relieve them of guilt feelings. Reassure them that they did all they could. Highlight whatever else you know to be true and positive about the care they gave
- Don't avoid them because you are uncomfortable. Just sympathetic hug is better than absence.
- Don't say you know how they feel unless you have lost a child too.
- Don't be judgmental or tell them what they should feel or do.
- Don't become silent when they mention their dead child. And don't be afraid to mention the child they want to hear good things about him/her.
- Don't draw sham conclusion or lesson to be learned from the loss of the child. In their grief, there is no silver lining to this cloud.
- Don't remind them that at least they have other child or can have more. No other child is a substitute or replacement.
- Don't add to their guilt feelings by looking for faults in the home or hospital care.
- Don't be religious platitude that put the blame or God. Hope I make sense a little