A Man Was Sent to us From The Gods - Mongolian Miracles

in #life8 years ago (edited)

It gladdens me that you liked what I had to say last time. For every vote you cast on my non-Mongolian ass, a new opportunity opens up at our facilities at Huggson E. Inc. I need you to know this, for it gives you a perspective regarding the utmost importance of your engagement on my Steemit profile page and blog.

People often ask me, "Earnstein, how DO you do it?" To this, with a smile on my face, I simply reply "Well, how do YOU NOT do it? ;)" They always smile back humbly, look me right in the eyes understandingly, turn around and walk away gloatingly. It so happens that each time I've had an interaction like that, they always come back three months later with a wonderful new business idea. I let them present it on our miniature Cosmonova projection device. I live stream the event to every TV-screen in the building and, as I do, I can hear people yelling in awe; they love our ways so much they can't help but make silly noises all around the place as a new entrepreneurial idea is born. This is usually the climax of a normal work week at Huggson E. Inc, but just because a Powerpoint Presentation tops everything on a particular day does not mean things can't get better – they sure can. Like icing on the cake, beautiful relationships have sparked up as a direct result of my well-thought out hiring process:

One time when I was out on a boat trip with my friend, we met a person on a small, uninhabited patch of land just a kilometer off the shores. When I asked what he was doing there, he said he was seeking refuge in Mongolia, that he was both ambitious and open-minded, and that he "of course" accepted and condoned free-market ideas. Now, as you might figure, this was not your normal hobo currently residing on an island in the center of a body of water just outside a Mongolian small town. Nope. This guy had dreams. Big ones. He told us he hated the country he had come from (not Mongolia), that he wished to apply for a Mongolian green card work visa, and that he would do anything to be able to work in Mongolia, "preferably for a successful businessman accepting and condoning free-market ideas running his own business" he continued, as he elaborated on the matter. Not a single second went by before I hired him. I, Stratched Scratchford Earnstein, did not hesitate for a moment hiring this beautiful young man.

We gave him a ride back to the shore, and the entire time, filled with sparkling gratitude, he insisted he should be the one rowing us back, but I saw the exhaustion in his eyes as he spoke, so I told him the following: "Your body is your temple. Lay down and rest" as I smiled at him. His posture changed from an eager boy's trying to satisfy some elder to a state of total and utter relaxation. He sat down and lost all emotion on his face – he fell into a deep sleep.

Now, why did I do this? Because I can, because I want to, because I am a man of great, ambitious craze, because I know skill and competence when I see it, because I will do it again and, most importantly, because this is how a good and structured work environment is created and maintained; by hiring people you know deep inside your heart are your men!


Signed, S.S. Earnstein


PS: He now works as the head manager at our communications department. His green card is scheduled to arrive any day.

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