So I've been a bit withdrawn lately, just indoors mostly.
which is kinda how I've always been since I'm a bad introvert, Lol... But it felt different today.
I'd lost appetite for food, calls, conversations... Entertaining worries about unmet targets, unclear goals, and other mind challenges.
Today started the same way, boring and unpromising, but somewhere in the midst of all that, my thoughts suddenly diverted to the part of me that loves to stay positive and above the waters, so I started pondering on whatever could make the difference in my mood.
I thought of going out to a playground to watch some kids play, or going to a cinema, or standing by the road to watch cars pass, or going to a place I could listen to some loud jazz. And then the next challenge, which of these places do I go?
I stood up and got preparing. I was just passing by the mirror when a seemingly new image quickly reflected, and I went to take a clearer look. There I was looking all different. My face was lit, my eyes were brighter, I looked more energized, my shine was back!
Then I started laughing at myself. Like, what have I been so concerned about that I lost sight of me? Then came another option.
It's been too quiet around here lately so let's blow the air up in here with some crazy music!
The atmosphere was lit, I shut my windows, and started screaming and dancing away (I suck at dancing though). Guess what? All these happened in my head!
But the looking in the mirror part was real, Lol...
Funny, but I learnt something important. All I needed was a change in mental phase.
If you can think so hard about things that weigh your spirit down, then you can do better with things that make you happy, the former requires even more energy than the later. Some say it's not real, it's only in your head, you're living a fake life...
Well, my believe is that if imagining vain things make people eventually turn out vain, then it's the same way imagining beautiful things make you beautiful, happy, and I dare say, many atimes, satisfied.
People are more concerned with finding out what the real source of your happiness is, but are often not worried about what glooms your countenance. Well, they can keep searching...
Yes, people live fake lives of happiness, or so it seems. But what is the surety that a gloomy life is real, and the happy one is fake? What if the happy life is the real life and you're living a fake life staying unhappy?
Everyone is at their best when in their state of happiness and peace. I realized from the scenario today that sometimes all you need to storm out of that downcast situation is a moment of mental phase change!
Another moral lesson I learnt today is, never depend on only one source of energy. By source of energy here I mean thinks that keep you smiling, joyful, inspired and motivated. Think about all the things that make you happy, write poems, songs, or whatever you want about each of them so they register in your mind. Never neglect them, keep them in your remembrance as often as you can.
It is important to know here that you don't have to try too hard to salvage a lost energy, sometimes they cannot be redeemed as soon as they have been lost, so focus less on it so you don't lose the rest with it. Burst open another energy box, and move on, everything will level up later.
Bottom line, don't get too attached to any one thing, whether it's a thought, a feel, a person, anything. By all means, strive to do what is right. The right thing might not always be the happy thing, but it's end product is always peace, then happiness comes eventually. However, if more than you can offer is expected, then they're asking for too much!
You are a motivation to someone somewhere, so do what you can to stay happy, for you first, then for everyone else. Break out of the box, do something different, wear a different shade of lipstick, try out a new fragrance of perfume, let a funny stranger make you laugh, eat at a different restaurant, go to a new gym.... Sometimes it's that easy.