Just been thinking
I did not feel well today. This always gives me the feeling my day is wasted.
Am I the only one who feels that way? The sun was shining and after a very cold and long winter (over 6 months) I finally felt better. I did absorb the sun and even felt like travelling again.
I did some travelling because I had to pick up my new car. It is a smaller one as the Mazda I used to drive, but it is fine enough. As soon as I stepped into it, it did not feel like the Dinky Toy it looks like if I stand next to it at all.
So I had a trip of over 1600 km and I have been in 4 different countries. Happy to be back since I missed the (finally) better weather and higher temps, but I am so damned tired!
The picture above a friend and I use for the stories we write together. How does that work? He writes a part and I write the next start. We started with a contest. Only allowed to use 140 words plus the word "insideout". After that we kept on writing about the "Adventures of Kees" even joining other contests with parts of the stories. Are there more people who write a story together?
On my miserable days life goes on. Partly without me.
I hang around, try to do what is possible or most necessary and if I decide to go to bed my mind keeps busy. I need to give myself permission to let it go, allow myself to be sick for at least some hours... if I am lucky I fall asleep (and dream about all the stuff I need to do, have to check out and wish I had more time so my day would not be wasted if I sleep for some hours.
For a while I am out of bed now. To read a bit (my lousy provider finally gives me some access to the internet)
and feel less useless I guess (like they say over here: you have plenty of rest when you are dead. I wonder if that is true.). I read a post about "living each day as if it is your last". I frequently talk with my children about that. What would you do if you knew it is your last day? Would you stay home, travel the world, go look for that long lost friend? Make up with someone, burn down something or killing around? Robb a bank or...
If it comes to it I simply stay home and in bed and give my dogs their freedom
(they can finally kill some turkeys or sheep or the annoying little dogs that make their lives miserable).
I think that is the savest and best thing to do. I do not have a bucket list. I did not even know people make lists like that.
By the way: my children say the same. There is nothing they would wish for or like to do. The only thing they would change is that they would skip school.
To those who give the advice to live each day as if it is your last day
I can only say: this is impossible. You need to visit work or school. If not you will be in big financial trouble. If it comes to dropping school the government will come after me, so will CBS and who knows who or what more.
If you are sick and in pain it is very hard to do what you like. You struggle through life and need to rest.
While I write this down I do think of the long list of people who tried to break me on purpose in the past years. So if I had a gun and the energy to trace them I would help them to an other world and save this world for these scammers, abusers, criminals, molesters, narcissists, pedophiles, terrible once-been-family members of mine and bad neighbours. But since I can not live this day (or tomorrow) as if it is the last day of my life, the only thing I can do is going back to bed.
Like to know more about me? Please read my other posts:
Wasted day
https://steemit.com/health/@wakeupkitty/wasted-day
Photocollagecontest #7: move on
https://steemit.com/photo/@wakeupkitty/photocollagecontest-7-move-on
The smell of pink roses
https://steemit.com/life/@wakeupkitty/the-smell-of-pink-roses-2018-05-11-09-38-26
No descent internet
https://steemit.com/steemit/@wakeupkitty/no-descent-internet
Seidl confiseri in Laaber (Germany)
https://steemit.com/life/@wakeupkitty/seidl-confiseri-in-laaber-germany-2018-05-10-17-49-14
Colorchallenge Wednesday Yellow : Weird tulips as a gift
Just around the corner...
https://steemit.com/life/@wakeupkitty/just-around-the-corner--2018-05-08-14-38-25
The poppies are there again!
Do you make a test drive?
https://steemit.com/travel/@wakeupkitty/how-to-test-a-car
Are people disappointing?
https://steemit.com/life/@wakeupkitty/are-people-disappointing